Doki Doki Literature Club - You'll Never be Alone
by Mew.Toretto
Summary: Mew, an 18 year old highschooler gets into a club by the hand of his childhood friend Sayori. After getting tricked by his friend and selling out for a cupcake, he ends up getting meeting young and aggressive Natsuki. After underestimating each other, Mew and Natsuki will end up seeing both are much more than what they look to one another, and a story between both ends up unfolding
1. Chapter 1 - Fresh Start

Hey, to anyone who found this, it's Mew here! So, for anyone who might not have read the description I have on my page (highly recommend it so you can understand more clearly what you are about to start reading), I'm gonna start a fanfic on Doki Doki Literature Club, a Visual Novel game that some of you might know (and that if you don't please check it out, its free on Steam so it's just as easy as it gets to get it) Has you do in the game itself, my character will take MC's place in the story, and this story will be between Mew (my character) and Natsuki. I might make another fanfic on one of the other girls, but this is the one I want to do the most, I might later pick another girl to make a different story around okay? Hope you enjoy it, have a nice reading! :)

Chapter I – Fresh Start…

07:00 AM, Monday

My alarm clock launches a loud, annoying sound throughout the room from his strategically thought position on my desk on the opposite wall of my room, right next to the door. My luck is that even knowing I don't want to have to get off the bed to turn that thing off, I'm quite aware that if I had it next to the bed I would probably turn it off and go back to sleep. It's not that I have problems with waking up, my real issue lies in getting out of bed…

My plan proves successful has I out of bed to turn the damn thing off about 10 seconds after it turned my dreams into shatters of glass around inside my head. I get a little bit of a headache as I try to get my eyes properly open. I kind of fail on doing so…

I open the door, walk to the main floor of the house and get in the bathroom to get my face washed. The headache doesn't go away. I prefer so much when I don't need that thing to wake up. I wash my face in the low light that the closed window gives me. I kind of like low light like this, but while I sleep I always preferred pitch darkness. After getting my face clean, I actually get my eyes opened with relative ease, finally getting properly woken after getting up.

I took around half an hour getting up, wearing the school uniform, getting my bag on my shoulder, getting my wallet, my house keys, stuffing on my right pocket and my phone on my left pocket.

I head to the main floor a second and final time to have breakfast before left. I felt hungry, as usual, so I treated myself with some fried eggs and bacon. It would probably be my breakfast of choice every day if I could, but I also like other stuff so once in a while I remember to change a bit. I still had some time to take a look at my phone while I was eating, only to notice a chat notification of some message I missed.

happy_thoughts: …but the club is AWESOME, and i'm sure you would just love it as much as i do! promise you'll think about it okay Mew? :D

mew_toretto: I already told you, I don't know about that. And I think I would love the anime club much more than your literature stuff…

happy_thoughts (new): OHHHHH, MEANIE! :(

happy_thoughts (new): you're no fun, i'm going to bed…walk together to school as always? :P

It was my childhood friend since last week's Monday she started trying to make me join her new club, the Literature Club… from what it seems, she started this club with some friend of hers and now she is basically the club's vice president. And know she wants me to join and apparently she will not take a no for an answer…lucky me…

I finish my breakfast and eventually left my house around 8:00 AM. The way to school would take around 20 minutes, so I would still have about 10 minutes to wait for her…and of course, she fell asleep… I waited the 10 minutes but as she didn't leave her house, I simply put the side of my headset in my left ear and kept my way to school to not be late. She wasn't always like this, but ever since we started high school she started getting up later, and later, and later… now every now and then she misses going to school with me. Well…not this time…

Has I was making my way to school, my right ear caught a girly voice calling me from far behind me. "Mew, wait for me!" it was what the girl screamed. I eventually turned around and took a glance at the girl who was running towards me. Yeah, it couldn't be anyone else but her…

Sayori, my childhood friend.

That girl was actually running, not walking fast, properly running! I was quite amazed since she didn't run that fast even if it was for classes. I thought about maybe leaving her being since I'm faster than her, but I ended up stopping and letting her catch up to me. "Heyyyy, meanie! Why didn't you wait for me?!" she looked kind of annoyed while saying it. "Why are you mad at me? In case you don't remember, you're the one who left me waiting for you... and in case you're a little forgotten about it, this isn't the first time this happened…"

She looked at me a little embarrassed "Well, but that happened a while ago...". I answered her as sarcastically has possibly could" Wow, Sayori! You're actually right, I'm sorry. Less than a week was quite a while ago..."."Okay, I'm sorry! Please don't make me feel even worse than what I already am!"

I might have exaggerated... "Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. I kept my way because if I didn't I would have been late for school. You know damn well that the last time we got late we both got detention to deal with!". "Oh, I even remember that much cleaning we had to do in detention now that I'm thinking about it…" She has a regretful and kind of scared expression on her face. Yeah, the teacher that got us to detention isn't the most friendly…

We eventually go to school and arrived before the first class, we changed our shoes for the school ones we had in each other's locker rooms. Sayori went to her class, as I did for mine. I was going to have science of technology, an interesting subject…if I don't really have stuff in my mind. I had my favorite music on my head and I still had some stuff of my work to improve, so since we are allowed to do research for our works, I connected my headset to the computer, and I actually started finishing the work.

Most of the day went by as I had classes, lunch and a final class with Sayori to end the day, at least that's what I thought…


	2. Chapter 2 - Literature Club?

Chapter II – Literature Club?

I was thinking about food, as I always do after a school day, when Sayori, after stuffing her things in her bag and getting off the chair on my left, asked me "So, did you check any club out already?". "Well, not really. The only club I wanted to check out was the anime club, but they only reunite tomorrow…". She looked at me with a bit of hopeful expression "So why don't you check out the literature club today? We're reuniting now that classes are over, and I'm sure you would love it! You even have a good grade at literature and everything, you'll do great"

Sayori had a point, even if it wasn't my favorite thing in the world, my literature grades were not bad "Sayori, even if I have a good grade, you know literature is not really my thing…". "Oh come, you don't know if you like it until you check it out!" She tries to make a sad face before continuing "We even got some cupcakes…"

After hearing that, it all became clear to me. Sayori spent the previous week talking about her club and trying to make me join it, but for some reason that was unknown to me until then, she didn't mention a thing about the club the entire day, until then. She looked at me as I found out about her plan. "You mention the club all day so I wouldn't eat anything early and you could make me check the club out because I don't say no to food when I'm hungry didn't you?" She smiled triumphantly as I took notice of her scheme. "You're hungry aren't you? You can get a cupcake or two from the literature club if you check it out!"

Even if I don't want to admit it, she caught me. She can be a bit naive most of the time, but she can actually pull out some sneaky plans like this from time to time. Most of the time I see through it since I know her since we were kids, but this time it definitely wasn't the case. She really pulled it out of nowhere and it really got me, because when I'm hungry the only thing that I think with if my belly…

"Unbelievable..." "Come on, I already told everyone that I would bring a new member to the club…pleaseeee…." This girl… not only she had pulled it off, now she made it so I can't say no because if I do her club partners may get mad at her… "…okay, fine! I'll check it out, but only for the cupcakes! I may or may not join the club after I check it out okay?" She jumps with excitement as she hugs me right after "Oh, I knew you would check it out! Thank you so much, Mew!" "Come on, let's just check it out already…" I think I blushed a bit from the embarrassment, it's not all days you simply see a girl hugging a guy in the middle of a classroom. "Alright, let's go!" Her smile really exposes her happiness about this. I guess I can't get mad if I make her this happy.

We went to the last floor have we turned to the right hallway where most of the school clubs use to get together after classes. Sayori stopped in front of the club's classroom door and looked at me has happily as she could be. I don't know what was making her happier, me checking out her club or the fact she actually pulled that her scheme through. "Here we are!" she said. That was the precise moment I sold my soul for a cupcake…

She opened the door and said "Hey everyone! Here we are! I brought the new member!" "I told you I didn't know if I was joining…" "Meanie!" She tried to make a sad face but failed embarrassingly, her happiness about this was really telling, so she wasn't able to hide it even if she wanted to. I took a glance at the classroom as I was talking to Sayori. I saw a girl reading a book in one of the classroom's desks and a girl on the teachers' desk. The girl on the desk left her book on the desk as she got up and approached us while entered the classroom. She politely greets me once she gets close to me and Sayori "Hi Sayori, good to see that you did bring your friend with you. Welcome to the Literature Club, it's a pleasure to meet you!" She gave me a friendly smile after taking a look at me. I took a look at her appearance as she greeted me, a bit taller than Sayori, but a bit smaller than me since I have around 5'9", purple, long, straight hair and kind of a more mature lady posture, she had a body much more "developed" than Sayori, if I can call it that way. "I, thanks for having me! Hope Sayori didn't bother you that much with me coming here and take a look."."Oh, don't worry! She didn't bother us at all, Sayori simply said nice things about you. My name is Yuri, you must be Mew right?". I hope I didn't blush, although I think I might have, it's not every day a girl know my name with me not knowing her. "That's me! Glad to meet you, Yuri!"

"Seriously? You actually brought a boy? What a way to kill the atmosphere Sayori!" A voice that came from behind me was one I didn't recognize. I looked behind to see a smaller girl coming in our direction and sitting on a table on my right side. Her attitude was a bit damaging for my opinion on her, but I had to admit, she was as cute as a girl can get. Short, around her shoulders pink hair, even knowing she was probably shorter than most girls our age, she definitely was beautiful. Her appearance really attracted me, somehow much more than Yuri, but her reaction to me and immature looking attitude really diminished the willingness I had of approaching her. I probably would have liked to try to have something with her, since this is the first girl that I actually found attractive to the point of me letting my bashfulness with girls behind and really go for her, but that aggressive attitude might have pushed me back permanently. I don't like getting judged, because most of the time I'm judged by having long hair being a boy. At least she didn't call me a girl, that would have just killed her for me.

"Ah, Mew! What a nice surprise! Sayori actually brought you here! Welcome to the club!" I looked to my left to see the girl who was on the teachers' desk getting closer to us all. At first, I didn't recognize her but has she was approaching us I finally remembered who she was. She was Monika. She was in one of my classes last year, that's the only reason why she knew who I was because she was evidently completely out of my league. Beautiful, athletic, intelligent, she is probably the school's most popular and it was pretty obvious why that was the case. I don't even know if anyone in school was in her league, but she probably has a boyfriend anyway. "Hi Monika, thanks for having me!"

I took a quick glance at all the girls that were with me, Sayori at my left side, at her left was Yuri, Monika in front of me and the girl with the sour attitude at my right whose name I didn't know yet at my right. This club was indeed full of incredibly cute girls. I took a bit too much time looking at the girl at my right and she caught me looking at her, I immediately took my look off of her but I think I still got caught.

"What were you looking at? If you want to say something, say it…" She said that has she blushed slightly, but none of the remaining girls noticed it. "S-Sorry…" "Natsuki…could you go get the cupcakes please?" said Yuri, giving a disapproval look to the girl in my right, whose name is apparently Natsuki, and she apparently was also the one who brought the cupcakes. "Hmph" has she said that Natsuki retreated from the table to my right and went to the closet, probably getting the cupcakes like Yuri asked her to.

Sayori turned to me and starts whispering at my ear "Don't worry too much when she gets like this, it's not that she doesn't like you or anything. She just has a bit of a hard time trusting people. Even after some time with us, she still doesn't talk that much about herself." She turns back to Yuri and Monika after that. "Anyway, she is Natsuki, as you already know she is Yuri, the smartest in the club! And you already know Monika, our club president!" she said that pointing to each girl, except Natsuki since she wasn't around us, as she summarized me of every member of the club. "D-Don't say things like that, you are embarrassing me…" Yuri slightly blushed has Sayori gave her the compliment. She seems more mature as I suspected, but she is almost as bashful as I am, even if she is just talking to people the same gender like Natsuki or Sayori. I only have problems with most girls, especially when I find them attractive. Sayori is attractive, but she is my childhood friend, so I talking to her is as simple has it gets.

" Well, it's nice to meet you all, even if I already knew Monika before this…" "That's right! But its great to see you again." She gives me a warm smile. We don't really know each other since we rarely talked in all the time we were in the same class last year. Still, having her smile at me as genuinely as good. Maybe we might have a chance to know each other this time. "You too!" Somehow I don't feel even a bit nervous while talking to Monika, even knowing she is as popular as she is.

Sayori sat at a round table where most of the girls' stuff was, she placed her stuff besides her and called me "Mew, come sit with us! You can sit next to me and Monika.". "I will make some tea to complement the cupcakes, anyone wants some tea as well?". "I want some tea please!" I answered to Yuri before she left with a smile on her face as I sat beside Sayori, with Monika having a seat next to me. Yuri came back with some tea, served me some and sat at my right next to Sayori. I thanked her right after she served me the cup of tea, obviously.

Suddenly, Natsuki proudly approaches us bringing the cupcakes' tray in her hands. They looked amazing and pretty much looked like they just got out of the oven. The decoration made the cupcakes look like cats, with the icing used to draw whiskers and little chocolate pieces used has ears. It looked like a professional baker's work or something taken of a sweet's magazine. Either case, I was actually amazed. "Wow, that's amazing Natsuki. Was it you that baked them?" Natsuki blushed slightly, looking a bit surprised with my complement. "They're so cute!" Sayori adds immediately, with Monika following right after her "I had no idea you were so good at baking, Natsuki!". "Ehehe. Well, you should have known. Anyway, just hurry and take one!"

Each of us 4 grabbed a cupcake, first Sayori, then Monika, followed Yuri, and finally me. Has I take mine, I notice that Natsuki's answer to both Monika and Sayori was very confident, although her responding to me she seemed kind of nervous. Do I make her nervous? Each of them takes a bit, with me looking at Sayori trying to talk with her mouth completely full. Have I laugh at her full mouth expression, I notice Natsuki observing me expectantly from the corner of my eye. Is she waiting for me to try the cupcake? Maybe I caught her attention before when I complimented her work on the cupcakes' appearance. Anyway, it must be my imagination.

I finally take a bite. The icing's full of flavor, unlike any sweet I ever tasted. I had to admit, even knowing I'm not much of a sweets guy, I would be a happy man with sweets like that from time to time. I definitely wasn't expecting so much quality in a simple cupcake, not only it looked amazing, but it tasted has amazing has it looked. I start thinking I really underestimated her, maybe I could be wrong about her personality too? Maybe. I compliment her work once again "Natsuki, it's amazing! It tastes has good has it looks. Thank you." She blushes and turns her eyes to the side avoiding eye contact. "W-Why are you thanking me? It's not like I m-made them for you or anything…" "Huh, you didn't? I thought Sayori said…" She interrupted me right away "W-Well, maybe…but nor for, y-you know, you! Dummy…"

Wait…did she just call me a dummy? She just nicknamed me…she looks like she is trying to approach me, or is it just me imagining? The blush in her embarrassed expression tells me otherwise. No, she actually flirted with me. Very slightly, but I'm sure she did…I try not to push her much more since I think if I do I might push her away. "Alright, alright…Thank you anyway." She avoids eye contact, not saying a thing, and I leave our conversation at that to not push her much more.

We all started talking about random stuff until Monika eventually asked me what made me consider checking out the literature club. I didn't want to bury Sayori, even knowing she probably deserved that. I that a look at her and she avoids eye contact so she doesn't have to deal with anything I might say. What a friend I have… "Well, I haven't joined any clubs yet, and Sayori seemed really happy about being her in the club with you all, so I got a bit curious and wanted to check it out.". "Oh, that's okay. We'll make sure you feel like you're in the right place, okay?" I'm actually surprised by Monika. She really looks invested in making everyone feel the best they can here. I start seeing now why she is the president. I knew she was in the debate club last year, but although she was good, the rumors spreading around the school talked about her not standing the politics around the major clubs. Since the literature club is much smaller, she doesn't have to deal with it, so she is probably much happier about that.

I shared my theory with her. She laughed a little but eventually confirmed my suspicions "Yeah I was in the debate club, and I ended up leaving because of that same reason you talked about. But I'm much more invested in the Literature Club, although it is hard starting a new club and getting people interested in something that doesn't grab your attention at first, I really think we can do it and make the club grow. And this also makes school events like the festival next week that much more important. Everyone agreed with Monika, myself included. She was a natural for club president, and that was pretty obvious.

I was still kind of behind with the literature stuff, but getting to know these girls left me wanting to spend more time here. Even knowing that more literature stuff would come with that. Do I really want to join knowing that I'm not that into literature? Well, I guess I can simply get out if I find that its really not my thing so…yeah, I made my mind!

"Okay girls, I made my decision. If you let me, I would like to join you all in the Literature Club.". Sayori jumped off her seat "W-What?! Really?!" Monika glanced at me with a big smile "I would be very happy if you joined us". Yuri agreed with Monika, leaving Natsuki's opinion left. "Y-Yeah, I don't really mind him joining. W-Whatever…" She acted like she wasn't fully on board with it, but she released a slight expression of happiness for a second, blushing right after she noticed I saw her real expression. Is she happy I joined? I already pushed her a bit, so I guess I'll not push my luck that much more today, maybe I'll ask her tomorrow.

Monika took the honors "Well, that seals it then! Mew, I officially welcome you to the Literature Club!" Everyone, myself included, happily applauded her declaration. "And has first thing we'll all do with our new member, we'll do poem share. We will all go home, write a poem of our own and tomorrow we'll bring it to the club and share it with each other! This way we'll get more comfortable for our poetry session on the festival next week and it will help us feel more comfortable with each other now that Mew also joined the club, how does that sound?

Natsuki wasn't really on board with it "I-I don't really want to share them…". "Wait, you already wrote some?" I was actually curious. "W-Why do you care?" "I think that's impressive, I would like to read them sometime" She rejected my wish right away "A-Ah, no…y-you wouldn't like them…" "Oh come on, if they are as good as your cupcakes, surely it's something I can't miss" She blushed hard and turned her back to me so I couldn't see her blushed face "D-Dummy…" She looks even cuter when she blushes. Thinking about her makes my heart pound, but I'm sure it's nothing, I barely know her. Although I still hope she shares one of her poems with me tomorrow.

"Sharing poems it's not something you can do easily, it's something kind of personal, and it takes not only confidence from the writer in his skill but also confidence from the writer in the person the writer is sharing with" Yuri sounded very philosophical saying that, and I guess she is right. My poetry skills aren't the best, but truth be told they are not the worst either.

"Okay, everyone! I think on that note, we officially finish today's meeting. Hope to see all your poems tomorrow!" And like that, Monika finishes the club meeting, leaving me thinking if I can impress anyone with my writing skills. Well, Monika surely will be hard, as she is one of the best in the entire school. Yuri seems very wise, so she probably doesn't have much difficulty expressing her feelings on a paper. Natsuki seems to have experience with writing poems, and although I would like to impress her to see if I catch her attention, that might be as difficult has it will be to impress Monika. Sayori is a bit below my level on literature, but sometimes she can pull it out big time, so this doesn't look like an easy task…

"Well, if it was easy, probably it wouldn't be worth my time in the first place! Sayori, are you coming?" I grab my bag as I look at Sayori. "Yeah, I'm going with you. Oh, by the way, I should add your chat account to the Literature Club chat. I'm gonna message Monika and send her your chat ID okay?" "Sure, that sounds great! Let's go!"

When we got to our street, I and Sayori said our goodbyes as I walked towards my house, leaving Sayori behind. Today was a good day, a very good day…


	3. Chapter 3 - Underestimated?

Hey guys, it's Mew here! I just wanted to say I sorry for the delay on this one, the last weeks have been a nightmare with school work and stuff -_-. Anyway, just wanted to say that the both this story and the SAO story are on the works, I just hadn't had time to write at all. I'm going to start working on my next SAO chapter, but right after that one is finished, DDLC is coming back okay? Btw, if you really want some updates and previews on both stories, follow me on Instagram. It's the same username as my chat in this chapter, mew_toretto. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me and enjoy the reading! :)

Chapter 3 – Underestimated?

At around 05:45 PM, I arrived home. Normally I would have arrived much earlier, but since the reason I didn't was joining the Literature Club I definitely couldn't be mad at that. I headed to the living room right after entering, left my bag on the side couch and then I sat on the sofa.

I got the TV controller and I was about to turn it on when my phone vibrated in my left pocket. I checked it to find some chat notifications, with the main one showing ( _ **lilmonix3 as added you to the "Doki Doki Literature Club" chat group)**_. "Nice, Sayori actually didn't forget to ask Monika to add me to the group". I unlock my phone and check out the group chat, where apparently the girls have been talking about the festival.

lilmonix3 (new): I was thinking about some stuff we could do for the festival, but some of the stuff I had in mind is going to need more people to help…

happy_thoughts (new): but now we have Mew, so we can use his help where we might need the most. :)

yuritakahashi_6 (new): Sayori is right, he can provide a big help in whatever thing we need help with.

mangaislitt (new): You just need to see where his help is needed the most.

yuritakahashi_6 (new): Although most boys don't really like helping with stuff like these, you all think he will?

happy_thoughts (new): yeah, sure he will! he wouldn't join the club just for fun, I'll tell you that…

I decide to intervene before someone starts thinking I'm not doing anything. I start typing my message when a message from Natsuki pops before I send mine.

mangaislitt (new): He didn't seem that kind of guy, I think he would help…

My heart skipped a beat while reading it. She actually has some consideration for me. I was actually quite stunned by it. She seemed a bit off with the idea of a guy getting in the club in the beginning, but after I complimented her cupcakes she seems to have started kind of letting me get a bit loose. Maybe I can actually talk to her without her insulting me most of the time. I was about to send the message when I took a closer look to her username…is she serious? No way she likes manga… does she? I'm not that lucky, surely not… now I really have to ask her. I decide to close this argument about me not doing anything to help and then I might send a message to Natsuki asking.

mew_toretto: Talking about someone in his back? You girls shouldn't do that! I'm joking XD. Anyway, of course, I'm helping! And Natsuki is right I'm not that type of guy, you just have to say where do you need help and I'll try to help the best I can! By the way, thanks Natsuki :)

happy_thoughts: see?! I told you he would! :D

yuritakahashi_6: I was just asking, sorry if I hurt you…hope you're not mad…

mew_toretto: Don't worry, I'm not mad at all.

lilmonix3: Thanks Mew, this will make things much easier! Tomorrow after we share poems, we will be deciding what to do and who will do what for the festival, sounds good?

mew_toretto: Sounds good to me!

yuritakahashi_6: I'm okay with it.

happy_thoughts: alright, me too of course! :D

Natsuki took a bit to answer, but eventually, her response came…

mangaislitt: Yeah, let's do that.

lilmonix3: Alright, that seals it! See you all tomorrow then! Don't forget the poems!

I was kind of forgotten about the poem, but I'm not gonna clear the notification of Monika's last message so I'm sure I don't forget about it. I opened a private chat with Natsuki. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know how I would start the conversation. I still wanted to ask her about her username, but I'm not sure if she would want to talk to me, even though I still think she kind of flirted with me when she called me dummy… what do I do? I mean I guess asking doesn't hurt…

I was about to start writing when, to my surprise, Natsuki sent me a message on a private chat between us two.

mangaislitt: I wasn't being nice to you, just so you know! *x*

mew_toretto: I wasn't thanking you for being nice.

mangaislitt: Then why did you? :/

mew_toretto: Because you defended me because you thought I wasn't that kind of person. I thanked you for that :)

She took a bit to answer:

mangaislitt: Whatever...it's just an opinion. When you got into the club room I thought you were just there because the club was full of girls… -.-

mew_toretto: I didn't know the club just had girls, I checked it out because Sayori wouldn't let me check other clubs without checking hers…

mangaislitt: When you talked about what was bringing you to the club with Monika I understood it… I kinda saw the way you looked at Sayori before you answer Monika…

mew_toretto: The way I looked at Sayori? What do you mean?

I was confused, did she mean when I looked at her because she blackmailed me into going to check out the Literature Club or something else?

mangaislitt: Never mind…

I'm confused… I decide to forget it and ask what I was curious about:

mew_toretto: You know, I was about to send a message to you when you sent the first one XD

mangaislitt: What?! Why?!

mew_toretto: I got curious about your username, do you like manga? :|

mangaislitt: What's the problem with it?! If you're gonna say something negative, you better keep your mouth shut…

Wow, she actually likes manga too! She is cute and likes manga, how is that possible?!

mew_toretto: No, no not at all, I like manga too! Why would I say that? :)

mangaislitt: Ahah you're so funny, you can cut the act now…

mew_toretto: No, serious! I like manga!

mangaislitt: Come on, stop playing!

mew_toretto: I'm not playing!

mangaislitt: Alright, if you're not playing, tell me. What manga are you reading right now?

mangaislitt: Oh, wait a second…

mew_toretto: I started reading Teasing Master Takagi-san a couple of days ago! :)

mew_toretto: The first season of the anime ended last week and I didn't want to stop so I started reading the anime! XD

I waited a bit, it was around 7:00 PM already when I took a look at the hours. I was still waiting for Natsuki's answer but she wasn't responding. Maybe she is having dinner? I don't know, but it was entirely possible. I started playing one of my favorite games on my phone when it was around 7:45 PM. I should start my own dinner. Usually, I have dinner late, around 9:00 PM, so I start cooking it around this time. I decide to make pasta for my dinner.

It's around 9:55 PM when I finished eating my dinner. I sat down on the sofa with my phone connected to the TV watching anime. Natsuki hadn't replied in almost two hours. Maybe something happened, or maybe she just doesn't feel like answering. Suddenly the anime stops and a notification pops in my TV. It was her.

mangaislitt: Hey, I'm back. Wow, you actually know manga. You watch anime too?!

mew_toretto: Yeah, I love anime, most of the manga I read comes from seeing those animes first. But I still read some mangas on their own.

mangaislitt: You actually surprised me…

mew_toretto: With what? With liking manga and anime?

mangaislitt: Yeah… tomorrow I'm gonna show you something. I've gotta go, talk with you tomorrow…

mew_toretto: Oh, okay then. Bye, see you tomorrow.

Her account goes offline. She is still a bit harsh, but at least she hasn't been that aggressive in comparison to how she behaved when we met each other. Either way, maybe I misjudged her. Still not sure, but I want to give it a shot. Surely it will not be easy, she will definitely make sure of that, but I also know she is the one girl I ever genuinely attracted to the point of actually trying to get close to her, at least I want to get to know her...and she said she would talk to me tomorrow, so at least I have a chance tomorrow…

Anyway, since she is offline and that it's already 10:05 PM, I better go take a shower and get myself ready for tomorrow. I still have to get my poem done too. It took me a bit, but I managed to make a poem with "respectable" quality for the club meeting tomorrow. I ended up going to bed around 10:40 PM.

I woke up earlier than usual, it was 5:30 AM when I took a look at my alarm clock. I don't feel like sleeping more…I'm going to the beach…

From time to time I have these days when I wake up sooner than usual, and when that happens I always take advantage of it to go to the beach to surf a bit. I learned how to surf when I was a kid, but with school, I don't really have time.

I quickly got up, washed my face to help me wake up, got my stuff ready (surfboard, swimsuit and equipment, bag, etc…) and headed to the beach.

It was around 7:30 AM, so I got home in time to not be late for school. I took a quick shower, had simply some toasts for breakfast and grabbed two cereal bars and my bag to get going. Sayori didn't send a message yesterday, not that she had to, we always go together to school, but usually, she has been always asking if we were going together. I should ask her if she is alright, maybe is something going and she needs to talk about it.

I arrive at her house and eat the first of my cereal bars while I wait for her. Unlike yesterday, she got out around two minutes after my arrival. "Mew! You came!" She closes the door behind her and quickly hugs me after it. "S-Sayori what are you doing?" She releases me right after it. "Your hair is wet, did you go to the beach today?" "Yeah, I did. Why were you so surprised for me being here?" "I thought you were not coming…" I'm confused… "Why would I not come? We always go to school together…" "W-We do?" "Of course we do, I mean if you wake up in time that is…" As I expected, she takes it too seriously. "AWWW, MEANIE! Oh…" She takes a look at my cereal bar "Eheh, hey Mew, are you going to finish that?" "Yes…why? Didn't you have breakfast?" "No…" This girl doesn't exist… "You're outside of your house, you still have time to at least have a toast and you were going to leave without eating?" "Eheh, please don't be mad…" "Sayori, you have to take better care of yourself…" I take a look at my watch on my left hand. It's 8:13 AM "You go in and at least drink a cup of milk, we have the first class together so after first class we go get you something to keep you good until lunch okay?." Sayori looks at me kind of confused, but then blushes a bit and smiles. "You always take care of me don't you?" "If I don't, who will? Come on, we have to be quick so we don't get late…" She smiled again and did what I told her. I might have been a bit harsh, but she knows why. I hate to see anyone I care for not caring for themselves…

We had to run, but we actually managed to get to class in time. At the first break, we had Sayori managed to eat a sandwich before going to her next class so I actually took care of her. Seriously, she should care more about her… anyway.

While the day was going, I started thinking about my poem. I could try to get close to Natsuki with my poems. But what if the girls find what I am doing? I blush with the thought and I take it off my mind. I just have to write in a way that they don't get but Natsuki might get. I gave it a serious thought and decided to write another a different poem for the club, having Natsuki in my mind has the poem takes shape…I got rid of the 1st one when I finished…

Reality…

My reality wasn't much

Nothing to brag about,

No color, no touch,

No apparent route.

Then you appeared

And all changed in an instant

All the grey was cleared

Even while you were distant...

Unthinkable it seemed

Impossible at first glance,

A reality of which I dreamed

But I will fight for a chance.

For as unreachable as it may be,

That giant hill's peak

A shot at that reality,

That is all I seek.

The day went by as, eventually, time for me to go to the literature club arrived. As I entered the club room, Monika greeted me right away "Hey Mew, glad to have you back! I was wondering if you would run away on us, ahahah!" "Hey Monika, glad to be back! Oh come on, you already think that little of me?" "Ahah, of course, I'm not silly, I'm just playing with you." "Good to know!" We smile at each other has Monika goes towards the Teacher's computer. She might be organizing the stuff we are doing today!

From what I can see, I'm the last arrival. It's natural since I had cleaning duty after last class. Anyway, Yuri waves as she gets up from her seat and politely shows appreciation for my commitment to the literature club. I was only late because of the cleaning duty, it's not like I was skipping girls! Sayori joins our conversation "See, I told you he was coming! He just took his time." "I had cleaning duty, that's why I didn't come right away…". As I was talking; I took a quick look at the remaining of the room that I didn't look at. Natsuki was nowhere to be seen…weird, wasn't she showing me something today?

Has that thought comes to mind, Natsuki appears behind me, crossing her arms. "You better be telling the truth. If you don't take the club serious you won't see the end of it!" I wanted to tease her but the girls are all here around us, maybe I can do a little wordplay…I don't know if she will get it but I can try… "Don't worry, I'm will not let you down." I smile at her. As she looks at me she gradually blushes and gets away from us going to the classroom's closet. I kept talking to the other girls normally, so I guess none of them got what I meant. At that point, I was talking directly to Natsuki, and not to the girls in general.

Anyway, eventually we ended up splitting and I took that opportunity to leave my bag at the desk I sat on yesterday and went to the closet looking for Natsuki.

She was looking for something when I arrived. I noticed a pink book on the floor. I pick it up and take a look at it…Parfait Girls… I open it in a random page and noticed right away that it was a manga. It must be what she is searching… "Hey, is this what you looking for?" She looks at me and blushes while taking the book of my hand. She probably didn't notice me approaching her…

"Finally! Now…" She places it in a box along with other books, it seems to me that it's the full collection of the series and for her choice to put the box on a shelf around her height and the box perfectly fitting between everything else I can tell she keeps the collection here. She looked really worried for it while searching for the one that was missing, so she must really care for it. I don't know the manga so I try asking about it, it might get her interested…

"Is that what you wanted to show me?" she looks at me a barely blushed and kind of disbelieved by my interest "Ah…y-yeah! And you're gonna read at least the first chapter, even if think it's you will not like it, alright?" The cover didn't catch my attention too much, but I think I will not have much choice…I guess if it gives me more time to spend with Natsuki I can't refuse… am I that much into this girl? I actually never gave it much thought, but now that I really think about it…yeah, I might be. Even though she is a bit hard to deal with, I haven't had many problems dealing with it until now…she loves manga and seems to like anime too, my two favorite hobbies beyond surf…and to my surprise she looks like she is not that aggressive to me all the time, which might give me a chance…

"Hey! Are you listening?" "Huh…y-yeah I am! Sure, I'll take a look at it if you want" She looks intrigued "What were you thinking about?" I blush to the surprise of the question "H-Huh…nothing…" She blushes while looking at me "Y-You know what, I don't even wanna know. You were probably thinking about dirty things, you pervert…" "W-What?! I WASN'T…oh, you know what we better just start reading, isn't it?" She is still blushing but I think my reaction kind of told her I didn't really appreciate her comment… "Y-Yeah, let's do that…"

God sake…we went from me teasing her and doing well on looking interested on her manga to a bad comment from her leading into an overreaction from me killing all the mood between us two...how do I get back in this…oh…this might be risky, but it might just work…

I was going to sit on a chair when Natsuki sits on the floor. She looks at me and points to the place on her left in the floor, right beside her. "It's better if we read here, it makes easier for both of us to read at the same time." She kind of has a point… "Alright…" I sit beside her. She scoots a bit so now she doesn't have close to me as she would have been, but I don't take it that bad. I know she doesn't trust people that easily, so I don't blame her for doing it…

"You know? I kind of was thinking about dirty things…" She blushes hard looking at me as shocked as she can get. I can't help but laugh at her expression. "Y-You pervert! You could have just told me you weren't thinking that you dummy! I thought you were serious for a second…" She turns her eyes to her manga to open it in the first page. She is blushing hard and has a very embarrassed expression. YES! The mood is back! That's much better…

"Alright let's see what that is all about…" She gives me her manga and I take it and start reading. In the first pages, I get a bit of an introduction of the characters. Basically, the story is about a group of high school girls living through their teenage lives. A bit of a basic concept but I can't really tell if it's going to be good or not since I still don't know what will be going on around the story, but it seems interesting until now.

"Hey, are you reading or simply looking at the book?" Natsuki breaks my focus on the manga but I don't really understand what she was asking. "I'm reading, I was just concentrated and it didn't happen anything special until now…" "Oh…now that you mention it, I get your point. But that's only because they are helping us to know the characters and their personalities. It will start to have a proper plot after it, or were you just thinking I would enjoy something without a plot? She looks at me kind of annoyed but her expression appears to show a bit of concern. She might be worried that I don't take her manga seriously because it's not happening anything right now, it might be good to try and calm her concern a bit. "No, of course, I don't think that. But I am reading so don't worry okay? At least I'll read the first one so you get a proper shot at making me interested in your manga okay?" I smile at her and she blushes. "W-Whatever…do what you want… " she avoided eye contact after I smiled at her. She might be trying to not make it obvious, but she liked my answer. Even a guy like me is able to notice, so I'm probably doing something good…

"When the story properly starts and the comedy scenes, the dramatic moments and their romantic arcs start to actually take shape, THAT'S when you really see how good this manga is!" Wow, you really love this manga, huh? And after what you said even I wanna read more because now it actually looks like it might be very good. I might have underestimated you. She smiles at me triumphantly, happy with maybe getting me addicted to the manga, but then quickly turns her expression to a kind of an annoyed one. "Wait, hey! What do you mean with that?!" She quickly shoves her elbow on my back but it doesn't hurt. "I was just saying that like I haven't seen the best of you yet…" "Hmph…good save…" She slightly blushes but she doesn't appear to be embarrassed, maybe flattered? I don't really know.

We got back to the book after that. Apparently, this chapter revolves around baking. "Hey, does the manga revolve around their romantic interests and her love for baking?" "Yeah, why?" "I was just thinking about it because you like baking as well." She gets a bit embarrassed "That's…just a coincidence! I just happen to get into baking around the time I started reading this manga." I don't know if she is being sarcastic or if she is really actually trying to make me believe that didn't happen. I laugh a bit in my mind. "I feel bad for anyone that impressionable…" "That's not really bad, I find it cute." "I'M NOT CUTE!" I get scared by the surprise I got from of her shout. But then I look at her with a bit of a smug face. "Was I talking about you? I thought it had been just a coincidence for you…" She blushes hard and then spastically shakes her hands pushing me to turn me to face the book again "G-Get back to the book!" "Alright, alright…" I laugh as I get back to the book, and after I go she looks upfront to the floor just ahead of her and I get to see a slight smile on her face. It's the first time I see her smile so genuinely. She seems happy… we get back to reading. After a while, she starts getting a bit closer to me, not taking the eyes off of the book.

I started to get hungry as we read, so I get my cereal bar out of my pocket and take the plastic off. She instantly raises her head as soon as she sees my cereal bar and I notice her expression change. I don't really get it, but she seems hungry. More than me. "Do you want it?" She looks at me looking a bit confused. "Why are you offering it? I didn't ask for it…" "I-I just thought you could be hungry, I'm not that hungry so you can have it if you want." Her expression is untelling, which doesn't happen often since usually, it's easy to read through her expressions most of the time. She took some time not saying a word, but eventually, she took it and started eating it. I restarted reading, she didn't thank me. She ate the cereal bar while I continued reading, I noticed she was looking at me but before I could say anything, Monika called all the club to gather together.

I got up from the floor and so did Natsuki. I handed her manga back, but she crossed her arms instead of taking it from me. "You're just gonna give it back?" "W-What do you mean?" "Don't you want to know what happens next?" "I mean yeah, but Monika called us. And you really seemed to care about your collection…" "I-I mean yeah I do…b-but you can take it…" "A-Are you sure you want that?" "Y-Yeah…but if you damage it, you'll be sorry for it!" I have handled with manga before, but for some reason, I actually want to keep this as perfect as it could be. Also, I really don't want to find out what happens if I damage Natsuki's manga… "I handled manga before you know? But don't worry, I'll be extra careful with yours" She blushed slightly. "J-Just finish it until today so we can start the 2nd one tomorrow…" Alright, I will. Thanks!" She blushed a bit more and went to get her poem right away. I went to get my new poem and then all of us reunited.

Yuri came up to me to share her poem first. She seemed as shy about sharing it as I was, but she gave it to me politely as usual and I start reading after getting it from her. Her language was complex and the message hard to decipher. I usually write like that, but her way of writing is on a whole different level. And my messages are much more straightforward while in this poem I have to give it a second read to get it. It has a tone of resignation in the face of something inevitable. It's dark and a bit hard to get, but I eventually got it. I explain my analysis to Yuri. "Yeah, that's my perspective at least! Sorry for taking so long..." "Oh, don't worry. It allowed me time to read yours, so there is no problem! And since you analyzed it correctly I can't complain about you taking a bit longer." "Nice, glad I understood it! What did you think of mine?" "Well...is this the first poem you wrote?" "Yeah...it's a bit bad, isn't it?" "N-No, not at all! I was just surprised. I like your style of writing, the kind of words you use. I think you have a way of writing quite complex. The message is a bit too straightforward for me, but that's just my taste. It is a good poem in my opinion" "Great! Glad you liked it!"

Monika called me after I shared my poem with Yuri. "Hey, how is it doing? Having fun so far?" "I was not roasted by my mediocre writing skills, so I must be doing something right." We both laugh at the same time. I handed the poem to Monika and she started reading it. In about five minutes she was done analyzing it. "I like it! I wasn't expecting such a good poem, did you get this on the internet or something?" "No! I swear I didn't! You can check if you want!" "Ahahah, I'm just making fun of you! I just wasn't expecting it to be honest" "Really? I mean, I'm not bad on literature classes, but it's my first attempt at making a poem from scratch..." "It's really good for the first one! Did you have some inspiration?" I blushed right after she asked that. I tried to act normally but Monika saw right through my act. "So you did! And by your reaction, it has to be a girl from the club isn't it?!" "P-Please just don't say that out loud" Monika started talking quietly right after I asked her to "S-Sorry, but is it true?" I kept blushing and even before trying to answer she kept going "Its Natsuki isn't it?" I probably blushed has hard as possible when she said that because I was feeling has hot as I could get... "Actually you liking Natsuki isn't what surprised me between the two of you, you know?" "R-Really? What is it then?" "Well, what is actually surprising me is Natsuki and you are actually getting along..." "What do you mean?" "I don't know if you noticed, but Natsuki doesn't really get along with others that easily. She's our friend, but she is not really close to any of us in anyway...other than you..." "Y-You're exaggerating..." "No, the most impressive thing is that I'm really not! Look, Natsuki doesn't really get along with Yuri because Yuri doesn't really accept her writing style, doesn't really get along with Sayori because she is a bit too cheery for her and I'm the Club President and I don't have much time so I have to split with all of you, you are the only one who got who she got close to. She even let you take a book of her manga, she gets mad at me for even moving them of place! I mean, I do it because the teachers tell me to, but she gave it to you so you could read it until tomorrow..." "I-I mean..." I wanted to disagree with Monika, but looking from that perspective, I had to agree with her. I can't say she is not right because right now I'm definitely closer to Natsuki than I ever thought I would, especially since not only we just met but she doesn't really get close to anyone... "Y-Yeah, you're kind of right..." "I knew it!" She gave me the brightest of smiles. "With poems like this, I know you took a bit of an indirect approach. The message is clear, you are clearly talking about someone, but you don't specify who he or she is. The poem in itself is good, you use good language and now that I know the poem was meant for her, she clearly made a big impact on your life when you met her. The poem is good, I got it because of my dumb curiosity..." "...and my stupid acting skills..." "Ahahah, yeah that also helped! But try to be more obvious next time. That's my tip for your next poem. You might not know this, but I think although she shows big self-confidence on herself and her skills, deep down she seems to have some insecurity problems" I was quite shocked when I heard Monika say that. "R-Really? Are you sure?" "Not entirely sure, but you might see that when she shares her poem with you..." "Maybe, I'm not really sure about that but you had to come up with that from somewhere, so I'm gonna try to see if she is okay..." "Alright, thank you so much, Monika!". She shared her poem with me after our talk over Natsuki. Her poem talked about the differences between different people, about everyone being special in their own way and not being afraid of being yourself. I really loved her beliefs over that subject and clearly, Monika doesn't stand for any type of bullying. Me neither, since I had big problems throughout 7th and 8th grades with that. I made sure Monika understood how great I thought her poem was, but I wasn't biased at all because it was something really relatable for me.

I went up to Sayori, and she was clearly excited to share it with me. She handed her poem right away for me to read it. Her poem surprised me a lot. I was expecting a cutesy kind of poem, but it wasn't that much. She talked about her struggle to get out of bed unless the sunlight comes out. Somehow I feel this poem is a bit "off" of her normal personality. Is it just the thing she felt like writing about? Or does It have a deeper meaning? I read the last line that is completely off topic " _I want breakfast". Then I got what this was about... "Sayori, can I ask you something?" "Huh? Sure, what's up?" "This is just a guess, but did you wrote your poem this morning after getting up?" She tries to deceive me and change the topic of the conversation, but just as Monika did with me I see right through her farse. "That's why you didn't have breakfast when you got out of your house..." "I didn't have time, don't make me feel bad about it again..." "I'm not, but you have to take care of yourself!" "I-I have you to take care of me, so why do I need to worry?" "Because eventually you'll get a boyfriend and he might not take care of you as I do, so you have to know how to take care of yourself..." She smiles and thanks me for worrying so much. Of course, I worry, she is my best friend! Why would I not? She read my poem and gave me a quick evaluation of it, basically, she liked it and understood it but wasn't able to tell me why she did so. "So you liked it because I'm your friend..." "I-I mean it's not that...but it might be one of the reasons..." I simply laughed at her reasoning, I can't complain but I hope my poem was actually good and not that she said that to not hurt me with her negative opinion..._

And then, my heartbeat started increasing, and I started feeling nervous. It was the last sharing of the day, but for me, it was definitely the most important one...

Natsuki...

She was seating near the place we sat back when we were reading her manga. She was looking outside, with the window open. The slight breeze of the spring wind touched gently her hair as she glanced at some cherry bloom petals descending through the wind over to the floor outside. I stood there observing her as I was getting close to her. She was absolutely gorgeous...I couldn't tell what she was thinking, and I couldn't justify the attraction I was feeling towards her...but it existed, and it was definitely there... at that moment...

She realized I was looking, and blushed right after realizing it. "A-Are you going to sit or what?!" "S-Sorry..." I hurry and sit on the chair of the desk right in front of her. I lay my back on the wall instead of laying it on the chair's back so I could talk to Natsuki and share my poem with her. I hurry to give her my poem so I wouldn't piss her off even more.

She read my poem quietly. She took a bit to finish and played the poem with a slight blush on her face. "S-So what do you think? Is it that bad?" I try to ask as normally as I can, but her reaction worries me. I always thought the poem could get me close to her, but I never thought it could go the other way around. My heartbeat starts accelerating as I get nervous by that possibility... she still takes time to answer. "Okay, let's start with what I don't like!" Alright, here we go...HOW WAS I SO STUPID?! "First of all..." I kind of close my eyes right when she is about to start. I definitely don't want to hear this... She seems to be re-reading the poem probably to collect her thoughts and bury me in one go. She takes a bit longer. "N-Never mind, I don't feel like giving my opinion..." Eh? "Wait... what? That doesn't make sense..." "Why not?" "If you do that what's the point of sharing it in the first place?" She blushes slightly after my argument. "It wasn't easy to write it, but I still did while I could be reading a manga or doing other stuff...and I want you to feel more comfortable with sharing it, that's why I shared mine first..." She blushes a bit more before answering "I-I would be more comfortable if yours was terrible...y-you were supposed to show me some dumb poem and let me show you how to do it properly...and now you show me this, I hope you're happy with yourself..." W-WAIT A MINUTE did she just admitted having liked it?! "S-So you liked it?" She blushes hard and avoids eye contact so I can't see her blush "Y-You just... don't...understand, do you? I told you once, you don't need to go brag about it..." She is feeling so embarrassed, I don't know if it's because she got the poem or if it was because she wanted my poem to be bad, either way, I think she liked it so I'll not push her more... "Don't worry, I won't..." She looks at me still with a slight blush and locks her eyes on mine. She gets a harder blush. "W-Will you share yours with me?" She takes a while but ends up giving me the poem "... I'm sharing because I know Monika will make me if I don't..." She avoids eye contact still blushing but I don't really push since I think I already pushed her a bit and I don't know if she understood the poem.

I take the poem and start reading it. It's a very short and simple poem with a very straightforward meaning. She talks about things people being able to do but makes a contrast with the fact that unlike animals in general, people always try and never succeed. She concludes her poem with making a reference about the fact that even though she lost hope and has had enough of being disappointed with people, there may exist a light out there that might give her a glimpse of hope. I get a bit stocked by the poem since I wasn't expecting a negative vibe poem like this one from her. I get her poem nonetheless. I wonder if she feels that way about people...does she feel that way about me? I wouldn't be too shocked by that... I put that thought to the side since I think we have been good with each other throughout the day, so at least she might not think that about me...

"H-Hey? Did you finish?" I realize I spaced out in my thoughts. I look up at Natsuki and she is looking at me quite expectantly. It's normal I space out a bit from time to time, but it was actually just the first time it happened while I was with Natsuki. "S-Sorry, I was lost in the poem..." She blushes slightly looking to the side for me to not see her blush. Does she get embarrassed from me or from blushing in front of me? "S-So? What did you think?" "It's an amazing poem. You really put your way of seeing things in it and that gives me a very good perspective of your opinion. C-Can I ask you something?" I'm not quite sure if I want to ask this... "S-Sure, I guess..." "...is this really what you think?" She takes a bit answering. "...the poem?" "Yeah, do you really think that bad of people?" "...I-I've been disappointed and suffered from people too many times, I'll leave it that..." Her expression is indescribable. She showed no emotion saying that, but somehow I know she is serious about what she said. I decide not to ask anything more about it. "Anyway, the poem is great. You use a bit more simple words but the message is really telling, and I like the impact you made on the last bit." "...I-I don't really enjoy complex word writing, I prefer more simple stuff. But not in yours, it still was easy to understand..." She liked it at least, but I guess she didn't get the real meaning of it. "Alright, thanks for sharing" "Y-You're welcome..." I get up from the seat in front of her and she seems a little sad. I hope me asking about the poem didn't piss her off too much.

After around fifteen minutes Monika ended up calling it a day. We managed to share all of our poems with each other with no problems. Although Natsuki and Yuri had kind of an argument over their writing styles. I liked Natsuki's style more because I like more clear messages, but I make sure they both get that both styles are different and great nonetheless. They both got where I was coming from, even though I think Natsuki was a bit mad about not writing. I guess maybe me saying I liked hers more was enough for her to not keep arguing. Anyway, All of us said our goodbyes has me and Sayori left the club room first. Sayori seemed happy about today, and apparently, Monika gave her some good advice about making her poem even better. She also made it very really clear that she loved having me in the club together with her. She seemed happy, and I was too, so today surely was a good day! We eventually got to her house and we said our goodbyes quickly getting into her home. I guess she wanted to put Monika's advice to the test after she forgot today's poem until morning.

As I start making my way home, my mind instantly draws back to Natsuki. Even though asking about her poem might have been a bad idea, I think we got closer. And we spent A LOT more time I could ever ask for together somehow. I don't know how she doesn't get bored of me, but she didn't seem too. After today, the one thing I can say is that I really underestimated her. She is much more than just a kind of aggressive tsundere-like type of girl. She seems like a very cute girl on the inside. I hope she gets more comfortable with me throughout time. Maybe we can be together again tomorrow. I wish...


	4. Chapter 4 - Realization

Chapter 4 – Realization…

I open my house's main door, getting it closed right after I got myself inside. I was hungry. So hungry. Giving my 2nd cereal bar to Natsuki left me without eating until now. Well, at least maybe I scored some points with her. She keeps popping in my head from time to time, something that has never happened to me before. It's…weird...

I mean, yes, she is the cutest girl I've ever seen, and we spent quite a bit of time together today, but I can't be falling for her… can I? I shake my head in denial. I need to go out for a run, clear my head for a bit…

I quickly get to my room, laying my bag beside the entrance right in front of my coat hanger. I change my school uniform into some sports clothes and lay the stuff I had in my pockets on my desk, leaving the house once again just with my headset and my sports watch on me…

The sweat drips through my forehead's skip has I get inside my room again. I lock the door after entering, looking at my sports watch right after. As I analyze the stats of my run and check my heartbeat, I notice I got back at a bit later than I wanted to. It was already around 8:30 PM, more than over the time I usually start cooking my dinner. If I get cooking now, I would probably waste too much time and probably would go to bed later than I would like. I can eat the meal I have ready for tomorrow, but I have to make some food tomorrow. Sounds like a good idea, but I have to take a shower first.

I take the stairs to my bedroom, getting my pyjamas to take them to the bathroom. My sight passes through my desk, where I placed my stuff before. My eyes land on my phone as I notice the blue light slowly appearing and disappearing on the top of the phone, on the left of the camera. My body reacts quicker than my brain, has my mind drags back to Natsuki while I get the phone from the top of the desk. The chat notification shows on the screen before I unlock the phone, but to my surprise, it was not from Natsuki, but actually from Monika. I unlock my phone to check the message…

lilmonix3 (new): Hi Mew! How are you? I mean, it's not been long since we've been together but you get the question! I was wondering how Natsuki reacted to your poem, so I couldn't resist asking!

lilmonix3 (new): Sorry!

Her chat account is offline, I assume she is probably having dinner. I start tabbing on the screen, as I write my answer.

mew_toretto: Hey! Sorry, my phone was at home and I was out running. To that question, yeah! I'm alright, tired from the run, but alright! :)

mew_toretto: The Natsuki matter, well…I mean…she liked it, although she didn't really admit it. But I don't think she got the poem was about her… :/

She will probably take a bit to answer. I'll take the chance to have my shower in the meantime. I throw my phone to my bed and get myself downstairs to the bathroom. I take a much-needed shower, which helps me relax my body, ending up making me feel a bit more tired. After two days of going to the literature club, I'm starting to feel the extra hours at school. Today was a long day. A very long day.

I get out of the shower, wearing my pyjamas right after drying my body and, as usual, I take a bit more to dry my entire long hair since I don't enjoy it excessively wet. As I enter my room, with my hair just very slightly wet, I get my phone off of my bed, Natsuki's Parfait Girls book off my bag, taking both with me and reading Monika's answer while getting downstairs once again.

lilmonix3 (new): I'm happy that you feel good, hope some of that is due to the literature club! ;) Yeah, I expected Natsuki to not get it entirely. She showed a bit of insecurity because your poem was good, wasn't it?

mew_toretto: Ahahah, maybe it is! XD

mew_toretto: Yeah, Natsuki did! To my surprise, but she did. How did you know?

I get to the fridge, getting a plastic box with some rice and fried vegetables out of it while checking my phone.

lilmonix3: Yeah, I didn't know it actually. Natsuki carries herself like the best ever, and although she is a very good writer, she is very insecure about her skill when it comes to showcasing it with others…

mew_toretto: Really? I mean, that happened today with my poem, but her poem was much better than mine. And she seemed confident in herself…how can she be insecure about her skill?

lilmonix3: …I'm not sure about that, Natsuki has not connected with the rest of the club much since she joined because she just wanted somewhere where she could read… but I think she might have trouble with her confidence, even though she kind of acts the opposite way…

I take the food off of the box into a plate, placing the plate inside the microwave and turning it on.

mew_toretto: …are you sure about that? She wouldn't have talked to me yesterday if she wasn't confident about herself…

lilmonix3: What do you mean talking yesterday? You mean in the club?

mew_toretto: She sent me a message and we ended up talking yesterday here on the chat after you added me to the group…

lilmonix3: WHAAAT?! She talked to you here?!

mew_toretto: Come on, I know I'm not the best guy to talk to, but at least you could have been a little nicer on that one… -.-

lilmonix3: That's not what I meant! Natsuki rarely talks to us on the chat! We don't even have her number! And no, it's not because we didn't ask… -.-

mew_toretto: Really? Why is that?

lilmonix3: I told you before, she has been in the club for a while and yeah, she talks to us and hangs out with us on the club and on school and stuff, but outside of school it never happened. And here in chat, she only talks mainly to give her opinion on something, and most of the time it's because we ask about her opinion. Recently she has been talking a bit more because we need her help on some stuff for the festival and about you joining the club, but even so, she still doesn't talk that much.

lilmonix3: It doesn't look like it, but she and Yuri are very good friends. They sometimes argue like you saw today on the club, but it's just when it comes to writing styles. They even joined the club at the same time! But even Yuri talks more on the club's chat group than Natsuki does, and I think you already get how timid Yuri is. Natsuki says she is always busy, but yesterday I thought she was busy again since she talked just a bit on the chat group but she talked to you after that apparently…

mew_toretto: Yeah, I get Yuri's personality, but why would Natsuki waste her time with me if she was busy then?

lilmonix3: I told you! You are connecting with her. She is getting along with you…

mew_toretto: …I don't want to believe that much in that because I'm not that lucky to have the girl I find cute liking me…

lilmonix3: You should, because I don't know what you're doing, but it's working…anyway, just wanted to know how it went, I'll let you go now.

I look and the microwave, that stopped a while ago. I restart it and write my answer…

mew_toretto: Great, I get to re-heat my dinner! :P

lilmonix3: Ahahah, sorry! I didn't know you were about to have dinner!

mew_toretto: No problem! I liked the talk, but I'm starving because I had to give my afternoon cereal bar to Natsuki in the club…

lilmonix3: Awww, that's so sweet! She will end up falling for you at this rate! ;)

Monika's answer makes me blush, hard. I can even feel my heartbeat speed up at that thought. I take time to answer, giving Monika time to send another message.

lilmonix3: You would like that wouldn't you? ;)

Monika, you….

mew_toretto: I'll go now, time for dinner! Bye, talk tomorrow! :D

lilmonix3: YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER! YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER! :P 3

I put my phone and the book on the balcony at the kitchen, as I take food off the microwave. As I sit and start eating, my head draws back into Natsuki. My reaction to Monika's question... Nah, it's nothing. I can't possibly be in love with her with so little time of knowing her… can I? For now, I put the thought to the side, as I open Natsuki's book to finish it for tomorrow. I'm drawn by the smell of my dinner and the book's story, as the rest of the night passes by…

My thoughts drifted from Natsuki as I open my eyes. I don't know what that dream was about, but I know Natsuki was there… I'm fully awake already. 5:19 AM is what it's marking on my alarm clock. I get up from the bed and turn off the alarm for today. Hmm, two mornings surf sessions in a row… I think this is a first…

The waves are good today… big but not too harsh, good for practice. Since I haven't surfed regularly since I started school again, it's better not to push too hard. The sound of the water splashing on the beach relaxes me… helps think…and when surfing, helps me concentrate… I fell off of the last wave I caught, right when Natsuki popped in my thoughts. I don't really know how I'm feeling about her, all I know is that I want to be with her… I feel good around her… It's getting late, maybe I should start thinking about going home and getting ready for school.

The last wave is a bit more aggressive. I push a little from myself, surfing a bit more aggressively as well. While the wave calms and I stand still on top of my surfboard, something pink catches my attention and makes me look more attentively to the road walk beside the sea. To my surprise, after appearing and disappearing in my head, there she was. Looking onto the sea… in my direction…

Natsuki…

As my surfboard approaches the sand, I jump off of it, into the water. I expected her to keep her way to school, but to my surprise, she didn't. She is standing in the stairs that connect the road with the beach, waiting while she keeps her eyes on me. I try to not seem nervous or anxious while I get my stuff in my bag, get my flip-flops on my feet, and walk in her direction.

I reach her, quickly starting a conversation before she can get pissed for taking too long. "Hey! Woken so early in the morning?" She looks at me with a criticizing expression in her face "Yeah, look who is talking! You must have been here for a while now!" "Y-Yeah, you kinda caught me on that one… I woke up very early, and didn't feel like trying to get back to sleep…" "…and you ended up coming here? To pretend you know how to surf?" Her comment both amused me and pissed me. I know she can't know how well do I surf, but still, her lack of belief in me feels almost like a punch in my self-confidence… "Oh, come on! You could at least have some confidence in my abilities…I mean, I haven't been surfing that often recently, but still!" "Yeah, yeah…" She doesn't seem convinced, as she turns around and makes her way back to the main road. Either she only noticed me when I was already out of the wave, or she is just pretending like I'm not good. I know I'm not in the best state of my abilities, but I still am a skilled surfer…I think… I try to not give it much thought and end up following her to the main road.

The way to school from the beach it's the same direction has my house's, which ends up making us go together along the way, although I'm not sure she wanted that… I try to make conversation with her because the silence between us is kind of killing me. "So, why did you wake up early?" "Why do you care?!" Geez, today is going to be a pain to talk to her. Yesterday we talked loads and we were alright with each other. Right now, she can't stand anything I say for some reason… "I wouldn't I care?" She stops suddenly. I turn to her as she keeps staring at me, expressionless? I don't get why she is so surprised, I wouldn't spend time with her if I didn't care for her. From out of nowhere, my belly starts growling. "Oh, sorry! I didn't eat anything yet, I'm supposed to have breakfast when I get home…" She blushes at my excuses, looking to the side afterwards. "Hmph, whatever…" Then, to my surprise, hers growls too. More than embarrassed, she gets…I can't figure out…afraid? No, why would that be... but one thing is for certain, she didn't eat before going to school.

"Natsuki, didn't you have breakfast before leaving?" To my surprise, she didn't answer, confirming my suspicions. "But you at least are eating something before of classes…right?" Has her answer doesn't come, my worry increases. Why didn't she eat? And no one is convincing me she is on one of those crazy diets girls are always in. My little sister once tried those, even though she is very slim, and I had to really get mad at her for her to stop that. Natsuki looks down to the floor, with kind of a lost expression probably due to not being able to answer my question. That's it, this might be a bad idea because she won't like this at all…

"Follow me…" "W-Why would I follow you?" "Because you need to have breakfast, and I'm not accepting no for an answer…" She stands there, looking at me, lost on what I just said. Somehow I think she might still be thinking about why do I care, but why would her? I spent basically all my time in the club with her, and I would do the same today too! If I was lucky enough to have her wanting that of course… although by the way her mood is today, that sounds extremely unlikely.

She breaks my thoughts by getting closer while looking to the floor. She closes her eyes, blushing slightly as she is about to talk. "A-Are we going or what?" I turn around, not to piss her off or give her a chance of changing her mind. But still, I'm over the moon by having her trust me.

We get to my house around 7:15. I lay down my surfboard next to the main door before getting in. "Please, make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back okay? Just gonna take a shower to clean myself from the sea water…" I run into my room, grabbing my uniform and going straight back down to the bathroom. I don't like leaving Natsuki alone, it's a terrible host move, but if I want to get my breakfast and my lunch done in time, it will have to go this way...

I take a quick shower, getting my uniform worn right after. I can't be asked to totally dry my hair properly, so I quickly get it has dry as I can before leaving the bathroom. I just hope it doesn't get Natsuki wet from me walking around.

As I open the door, Natsuki is wondering around, looking at the rest of the house. She turns to me, locking her eyes in mine with an expectant look. "Hey…" "Hey, sorry I took so long in the shower. Do you like pancakes?" I start walking towards the kitchen while I make her the question. "Yeah, I do!" The happy tone of her answer calms my worries. She seems to enjoy the pancakes idea.

In about fifteen minutes, I get most of the pancakes done. While I get the last two done, I melt some chocolate as I enjoy eating some with chocolate, some with maple syrup. I serve three separate plates, a plate with four pancakes for Natsuki and two plates with two pancakes each for me. Natsuki looks at them, appearing satisfied with what she is seeing. I lay my plates down and the melted chocolate alongside it. Natsuki looks at me with a curious expression. "What's that?" I take the rest of maple syrup out from the cabinet. "It's melted chocolate. I made some more just in case you preferred that to maple syrup." Her eyes light up right after I said that. I lay the maple syrup on my pancakes and grab the chocolate to give Natsuki. "Here you go!" She takes it from me, laying it on her pancakes right away. I take it after she lays it on the table, laying the remaining chocolate on mine after that.

I quickly make work of my pancakes, and while Natsuki eats hers, I make work of my lunch for today. I quickly make a mushroom, bacon and onion pasta with my favourite sauce. I get a lunch box to get my food on and a thought comes to mind… Maybe with the rush, I made a bit more pasta than I should have, but I don't really have time to slip the food properly… anyway. I get all the pasta into the lunch box.

As I turn around, Natsuki already had gone up from her seat and was placing her plate on the sink. She turns to me to me, looking slightly to the side and blushing a bit. "I-It was….a-alright! …don't go brag about it because the ones I make are much better than these…" The way she says that makes me think she was trying to thank me but wasn't able to. I don't mind, I just didn't want her to skip breakfast…

After I got my stuff from my room, I quickly got back down to the main floor. As I go towards Natsuki, since she is near the exit door, I take out her book from my bag. "Here you go, even in better condition than yesterday!" An expression of concern quickly covers her face, has she spastically turns the book backwards and again upfront looking probably for wrinkles the book might have."Come on, I told you I handled manga before! I had extra care with your book…" "Can you blame me? I don't give people my manga every day you know. I just wanted to be sure…" "Fine, no problem…I don't blame you anyway, so don't worry…" She put the book on her bag, as we left my house for school.

I told Natsuki we were stopping by Sayori's house to pick her up and she was fine by it, adding that at least she didn't have to spend any more time alone with me. It kind of hurts hearing her say that, but I guess I kind of got used to it since I spent so much time with her yesterday. I'm glad, cause if I want to be close to Natsuki that would have to happen at some point.

We got to Sayori's place, and as Natsuki stood with her back against the wall opposite to Sayori's house, Sayori herself got out of her house. I smile and greet her… "Good morning, Sayori! I see you got up early today too!" She stands at her house's entrance, looking forward, towards Natsuki. She suddenly closes her eyes, smiles like only she does and greets me back. "Good morning Mew! And good morning Natsuki, you came to pick me up too?" "I-It's not like I wanted to! I found Mew and ended up making his route to school because he was at the beach pretending he knew how to surf!" I quickly turn to Natsuki… "Oh, come on! Give me a break, I'm more average at least!" "Yeah, come on Natsuki! Mew is good at surfing! I already saw him sometimes and he was awesome!" Natsuki slightly blushes and looks to the side. "Hmph, whatever…w-we should get to school, isn't it? No one wants to get detention…" Natsuki starts walking right away. "Hey, Natsuki! Wait!" Sayori says while getting down the stairs at her front door. I wait for her and we both go catch-up with Natsuki after Sayori closes the small gate her house has upfront.

The morning went by quickly. I walk to the cafeteria to get my food warmed up, and as I get to the microwave, I get my lunch box inside it and turn it on. As the classes passed by, I notice my head has been on Natsuki most of the time. I still get everything in class, but somehow when I'm copying stuff from the board, solving a worksheet or something like that she always ends up appearing in my head. Maybe my lunch will keep her off of my head. And right after I turn around, that remote chance of getting Natsuki out of my mind instantly fades away.

There she was, sat at one of the tables, in the middle chair, reading a manga, slightly distanced from the more crowded tables. To my surprise, she was alone. Sayori's lunchtime is on the 2nd lunch period. I don't know where Monika and Yuri might be but either on the same situation has Sayori or maybe lunching somewhere else. Not even people from her class are with her. I wonder why that is the case…

My food is ready. I get it off the microwave and as I start making my way to Natsuki's table, my line of thought drops into this morning. She wasn't going to eat in the morning….and I don't see her plate in the table… is she skipping lunch too? Or did she forget money to eat? I can't really decide which might be the real one. I take another look at her… she looks a bit mad, or frustrated. She wasn't in a really good mood this morning… she is probably having a really bad day by the looks of it. I get a plate and two sets of cutlery from the respective piles, both piles placed at the table beside the microwaves and make my way to her table.

I take my seat on the opposite side of the table, in the chair at her left. She raises her head to face me, getting slightly blushed while I lay my bag on the floor and get my food on the plate. She looks at the food and then takes her eyes off of it. I think my suspicions are once again confirmed. She didn't eat. Again. I place half of my food in the plate and one of the sets of cutlery, which I lay on the side of the plate and slide both in Natsuki's direction, with both ending up near her left hand. I noticed her expression soften a bit right when she saw the food, following a slight blush in her face.

Before she looked at me, I quickly start eating the food from my lunch box. I know she is in a bad mood, so I don't want to push many conversations on her since I know she doesn't really want to talk, she didn't want to in the morning and from the look on her earlier expression, she doesn't want to know. She takes her eyes off of me and starts eating right away. I'm so glad I made a bit more food and didn't slip it right early this morning, because now at least I'll eat a decent amount of food instead of a small portion. And Natsuki ends up eating more than what she probably would have too, which will probably help with me getting her mood a bit better…

We spent the lunchtime there, together, at the table… after eating. I joined her, reading with a manga of my own, but either she didn't notice or she still didn't want to talk. I suspect the latter option might be the right one. When the bell rang, I started getting my book on my bag, while she got her bag and was stuffing it while she walked out.

She stopped for a bit, standing in the same place. It seemed like she was about to turn, but ended up keeping her way to class just after. Maybe she was possibly considering thanking me for lunch? I don't really need it to be perfectly honest. I have realized how she has trouble showing her true feelings. Even just a thanks are quite hard for her to say, but somehow that doesn't bother me… she is not indifferent towards my actions, and that just shows that even though it's a very slim chance, I might still have a chance with her… and I'm still seeing her in the club so…

And that's when it dawned on me. The club! I forgot to write a poem! And I only have one more class before going to the club... I quickly grabbed my bag, as I dashed through the corridors has quick as I could. After taking my seat in class and my stuff out of my bag, I opened one of my notebooks, quickly thinking about a poem for the club, again one to try and get closer to Natsuki…

And as usual, on occasions like this one where I need to do stuff quickly because I forgot about them and I'm running out of time, I don't have ideas… most of the class is going by, quickly, and although I'm not getting much of it, gladly this is the last week before winter break. We're not doing much in class anyway, so one class missed for my club duties is not that big of a deal… unless I'm not able to actually write…

I take a glance at the classroom, in search for a genius idea appearing in my head from out of nowhere, when the sunlight from outside blasts my eyes and blinds me for a moment. I sneeze twice, as I normally do after getting flashed by sunlight, and after managing to get my eyes properly open and able to see again, it hit me… the idea I needed for my poem, an idea that can either go wrong or much better than the last poem…

Light…

The cave was dark, The darkness was endless…

No flash, no spark, All around me was worthless…

No hope was in sight, Until it blessed my view…

There was the Light, Which turned everything anew…

I had a reason to fight, The darkness was not true…

I'll reach that Light, That Light that was you…

The sound of the bell quickly filled the classroom as soon as I finished. The relief filled my body has quickly as the bell's sound filled the room… I got the poem done, and just in time too! But more than that, I think the poem helped me… it's been just two days, but I don't find her just attractive. It's more than that… I'm not sure that I'm in love with her, but I like her! I really, really like her! I've always been very shy with girls, other than Sayori because we've always been best friends. But the fact I can't deny is that Natsuki has been on my head for most of these two days… and this poem shows that this isn't just about liking to be around her. I actually want to try to get close to her, get to know her…maybe date her even. I might be dreaming too much because I don't see that happening, but my life has been much livelier since joining the Literature Club… and much of that is owed to her…

I make my way upstairs, to the Clubroom, swinging the door gently has it slides to the side. I close it behind me right after entering, taking a glance at the Clubroom has I turn around. Sayori and Yuri were together, chatting about something. Meanwhile, Monika seemed a bit busy looking at her computer. Maybe she is organizing stuff for the Winter Festival… she said we would be talking about it maybe yesterday or today, and since we didn't yesterday we're probably doing it… I keep sliding my sight through the room just to be disappointed with the results of my search. Natsuki is nowhere to be seen… "MONIKA!"

The shout resonates throughout the clubroom. Both I and Monika shake for a bit from the surprise, while Sayori and Yuri just seem surprised. There she is… I get close to the closet's entrance, finding Natsuki with her back turned to the closet. "MONIKA!" I close my eyes, taking the shout in Monika's place by accident, has Natsuki turns around while finishing the shout until she notices it's me and not Monika. She gets surprised, and… maybe a bit embarrassed? I can't say, but she blushes a bit avoiding eye contact until Monika gets to us…

"Hey, what happened?" Natsuki looked at Monika with an incredulous expression, like Monika should know or at least should have an idea about why she is pissed. "What happened? You're kidding right?" Natsuki quickly points at the top shelf to her Parfait Girls box, turning right back at me and Monika. "The top shelf? Are you serious?" Monika reacted a bit surprised, which was followed by an apologetic expression on her face "Oh, I'm so sorry Natsuki! The teacher got mad because we took too much space from the closet, so I had to clean it up a bit. I kind of forgot the box was yours while I was cleaning, that's why it is there…"

"Monika, cloud you help us here? We were thinking about something for the festival, but we want your opinion first!" said Yuri from the other side of the room. I looked across the room has both Sayori and Yuri waited for Monika to join them, which she did after asking me to help Natsuki…

"Hmph, as if I needed your help…" Natsuki pushed me aside so she could walk out of the closet. "Huh… Natsuki? I-I can take the box down you know?" "You think I'm short or something?" "I-It's not about if you're short or not, you can hurt yourself when you don't need too…" "I can take care of it myself…" I tried to reason with her, but the sigh coming out of my mouth probably shows how much of a good work I did… Natsuki went near the other girls and took the rolling chair off of Monika's desk. I just hope she knows what she is doing, but the wheels on the rolling chair kind of worries me… "N-Natsuki, that's probably not a really good idea…" "I don't need your help, just scoot…" I want to stop her, but she is in such a bad mood right now that she just won't listen…

I step aside letting her slide the chair inside the room, placing it next to the shelves as she climbs herself on top of the chair, slowly rising herself to keep her balance in check. "A-Ah, alright! There you go…see how easy it was?" She takes the box with her manga form the top shelf. I mean, she did it, but she seems struggling with the weight of the box. Plus, that chair is still not a really good idea in my head, but what do I know…she got the box, so I guess it wasn't so bad.

She starts bending down so she can place the box on the shelf around her normal height, but suddenly the chair starts swivelling around, something that quickly takes my mind right back to not being so sure about the chair…She still manages to stop its movement by catching herself on the shelves. "What are you doing?" "What do you mean?" "At least you could hold the chair steady! You're just watching and not helping!" I'm about to go nuts. For a second, the thought of actually get mad at her, for yelling at me for not helping just like she told me to, crossed my mind… I take a deep breath and get close to her, grabbing the chair and keeping her steady, so Natsuki didn't lose her balance.

I'm about to raise my eyes to check if she is managing to bend down without too many problems, but as I look at her uniform socks right in front of me, I notice a catastrophic mistake on Natsuki's thought about me helping with this task. My eyesight! I'm bent down, but if I look slightly upfront, I'll be around her skirts level. I can't look upwards to her or…I'll see her panties… Natsuki didn't think this through! And while trying to controlling myself to not be mad at her, I was kept me from realizing it too! Now what?! I'll be a dead corpse once she finds out…

The chair starts swivelling again, as I apply more force to keep it in its place. Natsuki wraps her arms around the manga box, as she tries to keep her balance. "A-Ah…Mew! I don't think I can bend that down without falling. Take the box and put it in the place." "B-But if I let the chair go…" "It'll be fine, just grab it! Quick! I can't take it any longer!" Another sigh comes out from my mouth… "A-Alright alright, just let me stand up…" "What do you mean stand…" She looks at me when I'm stood up again. She looks to the floor and blushes the hardest I've ever seen her blush. Oh boy here, it comes… "N-Natsuki, just give me the box!" "Y-You perv! Y-You were trying to look at m-my…" "I-I'm not! N-Natsuki, don't move! Just give me the…" "G-Go away, get out!" The chair starts swivelling around randomly "I'll do it myself!" "Natsuki!" "A-Ah…" And suddenly, the chair slides from her feet…

My reaction was faster than what I was trying to say before the chair moved. Natsuki's scream echoed slowly in my head as I put myself between her and the floor, right on the side where she was falling too. She loses contact with her box of manga, as I catch her mid-air. We hit the floor…hard… She used her arms to try and cover her face, but since she fell on top of me, it only helped increase the impact it left on my chest. Some books fell on top of us, others bellow. As we take the impact, my back and my arms take most of it. The worst was my head, which hit pretty hard on the school's wood floor…

I feel Natsuki shivering has she comes back to her senses, while I'm still trying to take most of the pain in my body, mostly on my head. Natsuki slowly props herself up supporting herself on my shoulders. "Ghk…" Dammit, my right arm hurts so much… "Eh…?" I open my eyes as she opens hers. Didn't she notice it wasn't the floor she was beneath? She locks her eyes on me, blushing hard right after processing what happened and that I was beneath her. "G-Gross!" She hit me on the chest, which certainly didn't benefit the pain I already had…

Natsuki gets up probably has quick as we fell to the floor. "What were you thinking? " "W-What do you mean?" Monika approached us quickly after realizing something happened as I got up from the floor… "Hey, are you okay? What happened?" Natsuki looks furiously at Monika "Are you trying to get all your club members killed or something? See what happens when you place my manga on the top shelf? What was your idea?" "I-I'm so sorry!" "And there is more! Your new club member is a total pervert…" "H-Huh?" Monika looks at me with an intrigued but kinda amused expression in her face. "I-I didn't do anything wrong! I swear!" She covers her mouth with her hand so she doesn't break out laughing. "Don't worry! I imagine it was nothing wrong…" She winks at me, joining both Sayori and Yuri right after. I observe her making her way to them. Somehow she didn't think badly of me, even though the situation kinda pushed her to do that… I see why everyone in the school likes her, she is always helping others and trying to make things better. She has been like that since she realized I was interested in Natsuki, so I shouldn't be surprised…

"O-Oh no…!" I turn my back again, but I only find Natsuki after looking down, to the ground. There she lies, kneeling around the books that were scattered around in the clubroom's floor… I notice something is wrong by the look I get of her expression… I surround her until I notice why she was like that. She holds the 3rd volume of the Parfait Girls in her hands. The book has a large crease almost from top to the bottom of the page. She desperately tries to smooth out the diagonal crease but to no avail… Natsuki's expression turns… what's the right word… neutral? She seems to try to show an emotionless expression, which seems so off since she always speaks out her opinion on everything…

Suddenly, she slams the book shut, slowly downing her head just to throw the book to the floor right after… I wait for her yell, expecting her to really make sure if felt guilty about it since this was my fault. I already felt guilty enough, but she would make sure I would feel it… but, it didn't come out. Instead… she is in front of me, still on the floor… crying…

For once, I actually had no idea what to do… "N-Natsuki…" "N-No! I-I'm not crying!" I shake a bit after taking her yelling. I get down, still not knowing what to do… "I-I'll help to crease it out! You'll see! It'll look brand new!" "N-No! I-I don't care that much…I-I'm just… having a really bad day…" I get myself closer to the floor. Right after I do that Natsuki quickly raises her head forward, facing me while the tears slide. "Do you wanna talk about it?" She closes her eyes and shakes her head saying no. "Alright… look at me…" She slowly raises her head again. I get the 2nd volume from her Parfait Girls manga and place it on top of the closest table. "Now, while I clean this, why don't you wash those tears off? When you get back I'll have all this cleaned up and I'll have here the 2nd book to help cheer you up. What do you think?" Natsuki didn't say anything, just getting up and walking out of the room right after.

I start getting the books together, carefully placing the books in the proper order. I take the last book from the floor, the 3rd volume, and stare at it as I get up. This was mainly my fault for not making sure she understood how bad that idea was. I thought it would be bad if I pissed her off, but maybe she wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for me not properly warning her…

I place the box properly on the shelf Natsuki wanted. Maybe I can still solve this… I place the 3rd volume back in its place in the box, while Natsuki arrives right after. She looks at me, but the sadness in her face is palpable… she gets the 2nd volume I placed aside from the table…

"T-Thanks…" "Don't worry, it's nothing… I'm ready when you are..." She takes a slight blush. "Good! Even if you were not, I would make you anyway… you're taking responsibility for what you said earlier! The thing about cheering me up…" For a second I thought she was mad and blaming me for all this, I wouldn't blame her fully, because I sure had my share of the blame in this… I really should find a way to compensate her…

We both sat on the same spot from yesterday, beside the window right outside the closet. Thank god she likes the manga so much because Natsuki's mood quickly improves. She points out stuff to me while laughing throughout some bits of the story. I laugh alongside her since the manga is very entertaining. She clearly has read the manga multiple times, since she makes me notice some stuff in the background that might become important later and that some jokes follow from something that happened previously or that some end up having a follow up later.

Her knowledge of the manga is impressive, but not surprising since I already had an idea that this was indeed her favourite manga. But the manga really surprised me in itself. The story, the character development, and the plot that seems to be taking shape…it shows that although it didn't seem that good, it's probably a very good manga actually. She has very good taste, which concerns me a bit about my chances with her and makes me have second thoughts about if admitting I like her is a good idea… well, I can't do much about it now so…

Monika suddenly calls everyone so we can start the poem sharing, which takes me off of my thoughts. Natsuki gets up, much livelier than when we sat on the floor. That makes me relieved… somehow I actually managed to calm her down… "Hey, can I hold onto it so I can finish at home?" "Yep, you even sound happier to take it than yesterday! You're getting into it aren't you?" She looks at me with kind of a smug expression. She is clearly proud of herself for getting me to like her manga. It makes me genuinely happy to see her properly smiling for the first time today. "Alright, alright. You were right…" I raise my hands in defeat, which just makes Natsuki all the more proud as she goes to her bag to get her poem. I slide her book into my bag as I take my poem off as well.

As I turn around, Natsuki is already behind me, with her poem in hand. W-Well, I guess sooner or later she will read it, so she better know it when she is in a good mood. As I'm about to get enough guts to give her my poem, she surprises me by giving me hers. "You're checking my poem first!" "You want me to check yours first? Why?" She blushes slightly "…cause I want to get you back." "For what?" "For your poem impressing me last time!" I laugh slightly before answering her. "You're trying to impress me?" "I-I mean, it's just so Yuri isn't the one impressing you more, give me a break…and don't you laugh at me!" "Ahah, sorry, sorry! But, if that's the case, what's the matter with me trying to impress you?" "I'll tell you! You-"

Suddenly she stopped herself from answering. She then holds a thought, like she was processing what she had just heard, and blushes hard right before looking back at me. "Y-Y-You..." She holds her voice, trying to say it properly right after. "You're trying to… impress me?" I try to sound relaxed while talking, but I bet it shows a bit I'm nervous now. "I-Is it that bad of me trying to impress you?" "Y-You…j-just read it!" She almost shoves her poem in my hands. Her embarrassment ended up being too much for her to handle, so she probably tried to make me read so maybe she would shut me up with her poem. Smart thinking, even though I really enjoyed making her feel flustered and telling her I wanted to impress her. I guess it won't be the only thing she will learn from me today…

I quickly shut the thought has I feel myself heating up again, so I instantly get my eyes on Natsuki's poem…

Hope

The hope vanished, it was no more...

The light in my room, that was here before...

My bedroom was dark, I felt the cold.

Had no reason to leave, it kept me hold.

Until it came I couldn't dare to dream.

The sudden warm I felt from that beam.

I raised my head from around my knees.

As the slight clarity brought down the freeze.

It was coming back, I don't know how.

But it was too late to turn back now.

Will it keep me warm, or will it burn once more?

Only time will tell, but I wait for the before…

Natsuki's poem was surprising to me. It was longer than the previous one, but what really caught my attention was that although the poem's message was very straightforward, it seemed like there was a bit more than meets the eye on this one. Natsuki really prefers poems with clear messages, she showed that very clearly yesterday while arguing with Yuri. But something was off… It was a bit… sad, depressing in a certain way… but a bit hopeful. I wonder if she just wrote it with no proper reason or if it was written for someone to help her or about someone helping her. Just like yesterday's poem, she kind off broke the sense of the sentence so she would make reference to her feelings on the beginning of the poem. It makes me want to help her, even though I don't really know if she actually needs it or if it was just for the poem.

I get my thought process interrupted by Natsuki. I imagine I might have been here thinking about the poem for a while now… "Hey! Are you done or not?" "S-Sorry, I was just… thinking about the poem…" I try to sound normal, not trying to show much worry about how she might be feeling. The poem really caught me. "So? Not bad, right?" "It's really not, I just took a bit of time reading it since it was longer than your previous one." "Y-Yesterday's was way too short! Did you think that was the best I could do?" She seems a bit embarrassed, but that was far from the truth. "No, not at all! I liked yesterday's, and I really liked this one as well!" She blushes and tries avoiding eye contact by looking to the side. "S-See? I told you would be surprised!" "It made me really think about it…" "W-why? It very straightforward, there is not really much I can explain about it…" "N-No, it's not about the message. I-It's more about…" I can't really find a way to explain myself properly. I guess I just have to ask… "N-Natsuki, what drove you to write this poem?" She quickly locks her eyes on me right after I'm done asking. At first, I take the thought she could be a little bit mad at me for asking, but after a few seconds, it looks like she is judging me. I-I mean, it's not that big of a deal showing I care for her…isn't it?

She looks slightly to the side, facing the floor, as she raises her hand, to my surprise. Why is that for? "A-Are you giving me your poem or what?" Wait, what? She completely ignored my question. Or didn't she hear me? I look at her again, taking my eyes off of her hand, and end up finding the answer. She is avoiding my question. She doesn't seem comfortable enough to talk about it, at least not with me. She also spent most of the day pissed about something, so I think I better not insist much with this since she clearly doesn't want me to. W-Well… t-this is it then… can't turn back now!...

I raise my hand, trying to feel as calm and collected as possible. I fail miserably. Natsuki doesn't seem to notice, since she snatches my poem off of my hand, probably relieved by the fact we aren't talking about her poem anymore. She takes her time, as she did with yesterday's poem. I guess she will need a second read since most of the poem you will not understand until the final verse. She reads it, and reads it, and then… a big blush pops on Natsuki's face. She slides her eyes again through the poem, giving it a second or third read. It clearly shows. She is not missing the point like on the previous one. She got it, and now she knows. It took me a while too, but the poem helped me see. It didn't matter only meeting her two days before. It was clear to me after writing my poem. And yeah, Monika was right yesterday... I was, in fact…in love with Natsuki…


	5. Chapter 5 - Expectations

Chapter 5 – Expectations…

Time seems to go slower than usual as the reality dawns on me…

It's a bit ironic that I actually only realize it at the same time I'm confessing to her, although I'm perfectly aware that I probably wouldn't have confessed it if I didn't forget about the poem…

I put those thoughts aside as Natsuki finishes her read. W-Well, h-here we go…

Natsuki lowers my poem, facing the floor with the biggest blush I ever saw on her still very visible in her face. She slowly raises her eyes but she doesn't look at me properly. She tries to say something, and I don't know if it was because she got the courage to or because she didn't realize from not being able to answer me properly but ends up finally facing me.

T-The nerves start getting to me as I feel the heat getting rising throughout my body. H-Here it comes! E-Either she likes me or she will tear me apart with her words.

I wait, still facing her, for her answer… "I…I-I…H-HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM!"

She basically shouts out her answer, walks out of the clubroom as fast as she could. Her answered caught me off guard, she didn't answer me though...

"Hey..." I look at my left as Monika touches my left shoulder and gets in front of me. "Did something go wrong with Natsuki?" Her concern really shows on her expression. She really seems to care that she knows how I feel about her. "I-I don't know, she didn't even answer me properly…" "Answer to…what…"

Monika gets down while finishing her sentence, grabbing a paper I didn't notice was beside us. Monika raises the paper, reading its content. I quickly realize that it's my poem that Natsuki probably left behind while leaving the clubroom. I quickly feel myself blushing at the fact that I didn't actually remember the other girls were going to read it too. I don't really care now that it's done, but still, I get embarrassed by my dumbness.

Her eyes pop open as she realizes what just happened. "W-WHAT?!" She quickly put her own hand in front of her mouth like if that would have shut her shout before coming out. She gets a bit closer and talking on a much lower tone than before… "Y-You actually confessed to her?!" I feel myself blush as she questions me with a disbeliefed expression on her face. "Y-Yeah…" She catches me off guard by grabbing me my shoulders, which makes me blush harder even though I'm more caught by surprise than embarrassed at that. "How?! I-I mean I know I was kinda making fun of you yesterday, sure, but…" She stops for a second, looking me in the eyes as if she finds the answer to her next question in them. "…you're actually in love with her, aren't you?"

I look to the door ant my right, just making sure Natsuki wasn't about to enter and heard anything I was going to say. I mean, I don't think it's bad that Monika knows I like her, she is actually being so nice in wanting to help me and she cares for Natsuki too! But I know Natsuki might not find very funny Monika knowing my feelings for her as well. Keeping a low profile on this, for now, seems like the better way of doing things, at least for now.

I raise my head and suddenly Monika's look gets relieved, lowering her arms from my shoulders in the process. I proceed to finally answer her question. "I didn't realize it until about an hour ago, on my last class… not even when you talked about it yesterday, and, to be honest, I wouldn't have realized it if I hadn't forgotten to write the poem for today…" "You forgot today's poem and you wrote this on your last class?..." I quickly bow to Monika, asking for forgiveness right after, feeling very embarrassed for it… "I'm so sorry Monika, I…" I raise my head, facing her again while looking slightly down to my right side. "I-I just had Natsuki on my head all day, and when I remembered about the poem… the only thing that came to my mind other than the light idea was Natsuki…"

Monika shakes her head right after I finish my sentence, facing me right after with a smile. "I'm not mad, don't worry!" This relieves me, because after all, although she really seems to care for this, she is still our president. "I don't feel sad or anything, because it takes time to start new routines. And I know perfectly well that you just joined the club, and actually, it makes me happy that you tried your best to have a poem ready to the club share today. Even though you had to write it as quick as you did!" She laughs after that, and I join her although I still feel ashamed at myself for my always present forgetfulness. As her amusement ends, she continues with a smile on her face. "I'm… just surprised! Not only for the fact that you two just met, but you actually just realized your feeling and yet you already told her that! Guys usually aren't that strong and straight forward when it comes to confessing to girls I think…" "And the funny part is that not even I am! It's just that… when I'm with Natsuki it's like…"

Suddenly the clubroom's door swings quickly hitting the end a bit hard, startling both me and Monika from our talk. We both face the door, seeing Natsuki in the doorway as she closes the door behind her. As she raises her head, she quickly realizes Monika is holding my poem in her hand, running as fast as she could towards our direction while her face gets red hot yet again. "H-Hey!" Natsuki snatches my poem from Monika's hands as soon as she gets to us. "D-Did you read this?!" "Of course I did! I liked it!" Monika gives Natsuki that bright smile of hers, as Natsuki struggles to know how to react that, just blushing awkwardly at the situation. "Y-You know? You really shouldn't read things that aren't for you!" I have been getting to know Monika a bit better since we talked on chat, because I know she is quite amused by this embarrassed Natsuki confronting her. She changes her bright expression to a mix between questioned and amused expressions before answering Natsuki's statement. "Oh… but that's Mew's poem for today right? He is supposed to share it with everyone today for the poem sharing, right?"

"Ugh-" Natsuki is unable to answer back to Monika, but ends up speaking after a bit. "W-Well, I-I think no one would really want to read this anyway, and that Mew is done sharing this poem, eheh!" She looks to the side and tries to act like she is right, but she is clearly not. She gets close to her bag that is a bit behind her. "A-Actually, I-I'm just going to hold onto it…" Monika just laughs aside as she makes her way back towards her desk giving me an amused look while walking past me. I just sigh in relief, and although I don't know what Natsuki felt about it, she at least seemed to like it, because she definitely wants to keep the poem.

I walk towards her, as she looks to the side avoiding eye contact with her hair slightly covering her face, as usual, does when she gets a bit flustered like this. It's still visible the blush on her face. "H-Hey N-Natsuki…" "W-What?!" The embarrassment and nervous feeling between us really telling, but asking about her feelings towards me right after showing the poem doesn't seem like the right move. I bet she would probably hit me or something for not giving her time, which quite honestly she deserves to have, and I know she hasn't had a very good day since this morning so it's better this way I think… "I-It's not really fair to share with half the club and not share it with the other half, t-there is still Sayori and Yuri left…" She closes her eyes as she gets that I'm asking her to give me back the poem. "…but I'll give it to you after the poem sharing!" She suddenly opens her eyes and faces me. Her face looks a bit disbelieved but she should know by now that it's obvious I would do whatever I could that made her like me, and although I know this might not be much, I know she wants the poem, and I would like it very much if she had it. "I promise…"

"…Fine!" She hands me back the piece of paper that holds my feelings for her written throughout it, but she seems much calmer now that she knows it's hers once we are done sharing. "I-It's not like they are going to like it… a-and uhhh…" Natsuki seems to want to say something about what she feels and thinks about my poem, but ends up just keeping the talk there for now. "N-Nothing…" I smile at her, something that seems to make her uneasiness smooth gradually, as I eventually turn towards Sayori to keep the poem sharing going.

I reached Sayori with my poem in hand. She quickly shared with me her thoughts on Yuri's poem and how it was so complex and that it amazed her although she didn't quite get most of it or its message. It's really telling she admires Yuri's writing, and I can't really think otherwise because it really amazes me too even though I've only read a poem of hers. She really has a talent for writing.

Sayori shared her poem with me after that, and she kinda catches me by surprise. Her poem is quite good, not too complex like Yuri's tend to be but much more than the one she wrote the previous day, although not too hard to decipher as I expected. But somehow, it doesn't feel right. The poem is kinda…sad, very not like… Sayori. Something doesn't quite add up in it…

It seems a little bit… off. Or is it just me?

"Sayori, did you wrote this? Wow, I didn't expect something like this!" "Huh? What do you mean? Is it bad?" She really should take a bit more consideration for her skills, although she isn't like a premier poet, she has put in the work these days, so improvement is a natural consequence of that work she made for this poem and yesterday's "No, no! That's not what I mean! It is great!" "Really?" "Of course! I liked yesterday's, but this one is on another level in terms of writing, and even on the message and feels it has." "Monika has really helped me with my way of writing, but especially with putting my feelings and thoughts onto the poems I write." I take a second to get what she just said. She took her feelings and thoughts onto her writing and it came out like this? S-She is Sayori! Herself in a poem would be like rainbows and unicorns flying around the sky happy ever after with all those happy thoughts of my happy-go-lucky best friend. Then why is it sad? Either she just talked bollocks or Sayori isn't telling me something…

"Hey?" I raise my head as I realize I probably spaced out in thought while she looks worried at me after calling me out. "Are you okay? You kinda spaced out for a bit…" "Oh, I'm fine Sayori! Thanks for asking! Are you okay though?" She seems to get a bit thoughtful but quickly gets her happy bright smile back on her face. "Sure, I'm great! But I'm really curious to check your poem out!" She answered me but somehow I don't feel like she is telling me the truth. We've known each other for years now, so I usually get these ties when she is lying. But usually, she lies to get me to buy her candy and stuff, not about how she is feeling. I don't like this, but this isn't really the best place to talk since we still have people to share poems with.

I end up giving her my poem, as she quickly gets it from my fingers, reading it like if it was good writing. I mean, it's not the worse ever, but definitely not the best. Maybe the best I wrote? At least it served its purpose with Natsuki I hope, so I'm happy about it regardless if it's good or bad. As I digress, Sayori finishes the reading.

"Ohhh… What a great poem Mew! I like this one" "You think it's good?" "Of course! I liked yesterdays, but this one you really showed what you can write. Did you inspire yourself on something or did it just come out?" "U-Uhhh…." W-Well, this is a bit awkward I think... I mean, I know I confessed to Natsuki, but I probably wouldn't have done it if I didn't forget about the poem. And Monika definitely wouldn't have known about it if I didn't struggle to answer her properly when she asked and if she wasn't so good connecting my poem to me liking a girl. But Sayori is my best friend, I should tell her, right? But I don't want to involve her in this, and I still don't know Natsuki's answer so… I guess it's better to not let her know at least until Natsuki and I talk properly about this…

"Well, I guess I didn't have a really good idea about what to write, so I started writing some random words that came to my mind while I was locked in my room and it ended up like this! I guess I could have been lucky, but I'm happy to have written a poem like this!" I smile at Sayori. I don't really like to lie, especially to her, but I don't really want this to spread around. I want to deal with this my way, and last time I got into a girl it was… let's say really not the best situation… Even Sayori really struggled because I of how down and awful I was feeling, and I don't want to put her through other situation like that, and of course I don't want that to myself as well, but I don't have a choice but to risk it if I like Natsuki…

"Oh really? But it really worked! It shows strong feelings on this one, I like both the poems you did but this one even more! But it somehow get's me, because it's a bit of a sour and sad poem, although it ends up on a happier and sweeter note I think…" "Yeah, I get your point of view…" "It's like food!" "You're so hungry that you just compared my poem to food? Sayori…" I seriously not surprised, but actually, it's still funny when Sayori randomly inserts food to our talks just because she is hungry. "NO! That's not what I mean! I mean it's sweet and sour, it's… like… BITTERSWEET! That's the word!" Sayori jumps as she remembers and smiles proudly that she remembered the word, as I take her comparison and really question where she got that from because it was really great. "Sayori, that analogy sounded unexpectedly great!" "It did? I-I mean, YEAH! It did, didn't it?! She poses proudly as we both end up laughing.

I went up to Yuri for the last poem share which went pretty smoothly, for her. She really liked the poem and understood that it was a love poem, although from her point of view it could also be seen as a poem about a harsh life that ended up when that life met some person or people who helped it get out of those terrible times. Yuri is very impressive with her ways of processing literature, it really shows how good she actually is in this. For me though… it was kinda terrible. I didn't really get the poem at all. It was dark and very occult, it was almost like it's message would be too much for me to bare, so it simply shuts my mind and doesn't let me have any idea about what meaning it holds, which is frustrating, to say the least since I really thought I was getting even better than on class… but no. Even though she was amused by the situation, Yuri didn't push me at all for not understanding.

"It is a very personal poem for me actually, so it's just natural that you wouldn't get it at first. But I'm sure you'll eventually get to the point when your skills are sharpened enough so you can understand such a way of writing, then you will get more complex poems such as this one." "Hmm… yeah, I guess you're right. Your writing is really astonishing Yuri!" She gets a hard blush and spastically gets her hair to kind of cover the left side of her face. "A-Ah y-you think so? I-I mean I try…" "No, really! You could really even get to be an amazing writer one day!" I smile at her as she thanks me for the kind words. I was being honest, she definitely could be an awesome writer. I wonder what she wants to do after school? "I-I mean, I have given thought to it… about being a professional, I mean…b-but I never really thought I was that good at it…"

I get up from my seat to face Yuri properly. I want her to get that I'm serious about what I am going to say. "But I'm not joking, you could really do it you know? I'm not saying it's the finished perfect work right now, of course, it's not! It would be silly of me to say that…" She gets a serious expression on her face, playing close attention about what I am saying. "But, like, with the natural aptitude you show here and on other poems you wrote… with proper classes and with also with you being such a good student as you are… you could definitely be one to watch in that area, I'm sure of it!"

Yuri looks at me quietly, suddenly letting a chuckle slip between her lips. This catches me off guard and I realize that maybe I could be talking too much and that I should have let her speak more. "A-Ah, s-sorry! I'm probably just ranting about, isn't it? Hehehe…" "N-No! Not at all actually! You actually helped a lot! Thank you for believing in me, I'll take what you said to thought okay?" She shares a genuine smile with me, something that somehow calms my embarrassed thoughts. Maybe she got what I meant. That makes me happy. I smile back at her before answering. "That would be great! Thank you for listening!"

Suddenly Monika calls everyone to join her near her desk so we can finally talk about the festival. I remember that although Monika read my poem, I didn't get to read hers, something that actually makes me sad. She has really good writing skills, and she gave me a really good tip after I read it so I could write better and understand her poem better too. I have to remember to ask her to let me read it later.

We all join Monika near her desk, moving some chairs and taking seats in front of Monika, as she does the same and places her chair in the middle so she could face all of us at the same time. As we start talking, it is clear that both Natsuki and Yuri are concerned about the amount of time we have to get something good prepared. Monika tries to calm them down after they share their thoughts. "I understand, but don't worry! We will keep it simple, and focus on what we know will work! And that is? Focusing on what we are good at!" I'm kind of caught a bit off Monika's idea. "What do you mean? Like, writing some poems like we have been doing? "Monika smiles at me, snapping her finger while pointing to me afterwards. "Exactly! But not only that!"

"What more could we do?" Natsuki doesn't seem amused by just that idea. Sayori shares with us a poster before continuing Monika's point. "Well, Moni and I have been working on posters and some pamphlets, something like some of the other clubs did and that are outside exposed on the walls and stuff. We were thinking about getting our talents to use!" "L-Like me making tea mixes?..." I look at Yuri not getting where she is coming. Wait! That isn't related to literature but actually could be a good idea! "That's a great idea Yuri, that could really attract people to check us out!" "I-I could bake some cupcakes too!" Natsuki quickly jumps mix, and I think it was just so she wouldn't be behind Yuri, something that amuses me. "Now that attracts even more people! The smell of the cupcakes would easily be enough to get people checking our work out!" Natsuki gets a small blush and Monika quickly follows my point. "Natsuki and Mew are right, it's a really good idea. And I know what work we could be doing for the festival! We could perform!"

Natsuki questions Monika right after she finishes "P-Performing? What do you mean?" "What I mean is this! Each of us would choose or write a poem, and then after the classroom is more filled up we would talk a bit about the importance of literature and share a poem with everyone. It wouldn't take that long, it would show what kind of things we do but more importantly! It would show what kind of things they could be doing if they joined us!" I get Monika's point, it's not easy to write poems, and although it's not the objective, many students struggle with literature classes in general. And we could help them develop their skill a bit more by working in a fun way as we do with the poem share.

"And even other students can share their poems after we are done! Moni and I have written that on the posters in case someone wants to share too and can prepare in advance." Natsuki quickly opposes. "W-Wait a minute! You're forgetting something here! I-I didn't sign up for this kind of poem sharing!" "What do you mean?" Sayori gets confused and asks Natsuki, who comes back with the answer right away to clarify her. "P-Performing? For a room full of students I don't even know?" "I-I could never d-do something like that…" Yuri shares getting us a bit of guard. Monika's expression gets sad all of the sudden. "O-Oh…I-I'm sorry everyone. I-I just thought this could work, and didn't remember maybe you wouldn't agree with making the performance…" "Moni…" Sayori tries to comfort Monika, that raises her head right after that. "But still…" She gets up, getting back our attention from our fears. "I'm absolutely sure we could do an amazing job with this performance idea, and I fully believe you could do wonderfully. And definitely get some students to go along with it too!"

I smile as I get off my seat "I have to agree with Monika." Natsuki and Yuri face me, hearing my thoughts as I speak them out loud. "I have to admit, although I don't have much trouble reading for others, which I know doesn't make me the best guy to talk at the moment…" Every one of us starts laughing as I make a bit of fun off of myself, and probably getting Yuri and Natsuki in better thoughts before continuing. "But I have problems sharing my thoughts and feeling to others too. But I still believe I could do it and do a great job with it. And the same goes to all of you because I really believe you could do it great too!" "Thank you, Mew." "Yeah, that was great Mew!" Both Monika and Sayori share their support at my thought, leaving both Natsuki and Yuri in silent thinking. Natsuki gets a slight blush before speaking out her thoughts "W-Well… I have to do it isn't it?" Both me, Sayori and Monika get hopeful expressions on our faces. "I-I agree with Mew! I think it's a good idea, and that we can somehow do a good job with this!" Both me and Monika thank Natsuki, with us focusing now on Yuri "W-Well…i-I guess I don't really have a choice… and I don't have counter-arguments to use so…." Sayori gets super pumped at the thought of her and Monika managing to get their idea through, something which amused Yuri.

Monika proceeds to get the ideas written on a paper sheet, getting written down some more ideas as we speak. Monika then proceeds to read out loud her poem, giving it a try at the performance idea as well as giving me a first listen to the poem I didn't get to read. I'll have to ask for a read so I can give it a bit more thought. We all applaud Monika's flawless performance as she finishes. She clearly is used to being the centre of attention, easily leading with the pressure of being under our attentive looks. That's probably from being so popular I think.

Suddenly Yuri catches me off guard by offering to read after Monika, to which Monika simply smiles and steps off stage to allow Yuri to take her place. I bet that made Monika happy and more relaxed with seeing Yuri more determined with the performance idea. She seems nervous in the beginning, but as she reads, it looks like her nervousness disappears. It's like how she is when reading when she gets absorbed on what she is reading, she doesn't have anything around her. It's just her and in this case, her poem. She reads flawlessly until finishing, befitting her amazing writing. Our applause really showed how she blew us with her performance. She gets kind of embarrassed, but as she takes back her seat, she seems happy with her job.

"Okay, my turn!" Sayori shouts, getting up right after and taking the stage with her poem in hand. As she faces us four, she gets embarrassed right away. Monika and I try to help her get more relaxed, eventually leading her to start her reading. Surprisingly Sayori gives us a very good read, something that makes me happy because she clearly shows how invested she is on the literature club. After our applause, I smile and congratulate Sayori after she joins the chair at my right again.

"Alright! Who is next? Natsuki" Monika asks, facing Natsuki who is at my right beside Sayori. She get's slightly blushed again and after looking at me, she takes her eyes away before answering Monika. "D-Don't make go before Mew…" I look at her not getting her point since I'm not going to run away so I don't perform. Natsuki continues before I can speak. "I-Its not that I can compare to you all… at least I can have Mew lower everyone's standards before I do it…"

A sudden thought comes to mind after hearing Natsuki. Does she have stage fright? It wouldn't be that off of character since Monika told me she isn't very confident although she tries to show otherwise, maybe that's what is happening here...

Monika is about to insist with Natsuki but I step up before she speaks "I-I don't really mind reading first. Here, I'll go…" I get off my seat, with Monika offering me the stage. I turn to the girls, taking a deep breath and shaking my free hand a bit to relax a bit from the pressure. Alright, just do it, improve as always, and it'll be fine… I start reading my poem, slowly, trying my best to it to come out properly. I manage to read well, maybe good even, which is more than enough to make me happy. Of course, the girls are great and offer me their applause for my effort, which I'll gladly take. "Sorry if I'm not as good as you lot, I'm just not used to reading my stuff hehe…" I rub the back of my head as I finish. Monika adds before I step out of the stage. "Don't worry much about it okay Mew? I think that your reading is really good, it didn't come out as good maybe because of your lack of confidence in your writing, you get what I'm saying?" I give it a thought before answering. "Actually I think you're right Monika. Thanks for that!" I smile, at which she replies back with a smile too.

"Alright, that just leaves you Natsuki!" "Y-Yeah, yeah, I'm going…" She gets to the stage, facing us right after. She looks at her poem. She looks at us. It is clear to me that my thought was correct, she has stage fright. She doesn't really do much, just stands there embarrassed without knowing what to do. "N-Natsuki…"She raises her eyes, facing me with a slight blush. "W-W-What?!" "Don't worry about it…" She looks at me as I'm saying something stupid. "That would be silly, dummy! How can I not worry if this is important?!" "You don't need to worry because you'll do great regardless of what you think about your poem being better or worse than ours. You can read properly, your poem is great, and I bet all of us liked to read it." I look at the girls beside me, who all agree with what I am saying. "And so would anyone that knows what proper writing and literature are. You'll do great, you just need to start reading and it will go from there." 

Natsuki takes a moment, her blush fades from her face, as she faces me taking a proper thought about what I just said. She looks at her poem, takes a deep breath, and starts reading. All the girls and I get a clear happy expression after seeing Natsuki overcome her fear, as she gives a great performance. Our applause must have felt very earned for her, which is much deserved I might add. She huffs back to her seat after finishing. She looks at me before turning to take a seat, but I notice a slight smile on her face. She seems proud of herself.

"Alright, everyone! It's becoming a bit late, but we made huge progress in our plans for the festival! Both me and Sayori will be selecting ideas from the list we all made, and after that, we will be delivering tasks between the club so we can prepare most of the stuff we need to do on the weekend before the Winter Festival starts. I don't know on which day we will be performing and showing most of our work but I'll try to get to know that as soon as possible!" "Don't worry Monika, we will do great on the festival." As I try to assure Monika everything will be alright, I don't know that myself. But I'm sure gonna do my best to make this work. Monika smiles at me before Sayori speaks. "Mew is right!" "We're definitely going to do it!" Natsuki seems excited and I can't help but be happy for seeing everyone has motivated as me. "We will surely do a wonderful job!" Even Yuri shows her enthusiasm.

Monika just smiles, and her expression just puts an even bigger smile on our face. "I love to see all your excitement. We're going to do amazing I just know it! Don't forget your poems, everyone! After sharing, we will distribute tasks for the weekend!" All of us agree with Monika, putting an end to our club meeting.

I go get my bag from the table in front of the closet, where Natsuki is getting her's back. As I get mine back and as she puts hers behind her back, our eyes lock. She doesn't say a thing, neither do I. As a few seconds pass, she gets a slight blush, but to my surprise and maybe even to her surprise as well, she doesn't take her eyes off of mine...

"Mew!" I hear from behind me, as I turn to see Sayori skipping in my direction. "Ready to go?" As I hear Sayori, I'm taken back to reality. Monika is leaving the clubroom accompanied by Yuri, as Sayori awaits my answer. I try to calm my mind as I give Sayori her answer after being properly brought back. "Yep, I'm ready! I don't think I forgot anything." I smile at Sayori. "Alright! Bye Natsuki, see you tomorrow!" Sayori turns after Natsuki returned her goodbyes. I turn to Natsuki as our eyes lock yet again. "See you tomorrow..." "See you tomorrow..." She answered. As I turn and follow Sayori, I feel like a part of me stayed on the clubroom, with Natsuki...

We're outside, on our way home. Sayori walks beside me on our way home as usual.

It's only been a couple of days since Tuesday when I joined the club. But many things have changed in two days. I would probably get home on and play a video-game or catch up on my favourite anime, and I probably would have done the same on the weekend. And now my days are way longer, made brand new friends who I basically hang out every day with, I have a poem to make for tomorrow and a ton of stuff to do on the weekend to help out for the Festival. And, well, Natsuki... unbelievable what difference two days can make.

I'm spacing out too much, I should concentrate more. I look towards Sayori realizing she was spacing out herself.

"Hey, Sayori!" "H-Huh...?" Sayori looked at me confused, just to realize what happened after. "O-Oh! S-Sorry! I was spacing out!" "Don't worry, I kinda did too before I called you." "Oh really?! I didn't even notice!" Sayori gets her confused expression which amuses me and makes me chuckle. "Huh, Mew?" "Yeah, what's up?" "S-So... I was thinking. Like, If one day Natsuki asked to walk home with you..." She suddenly turns around as I get heated up that sudden thought. "What would you do?"

I quickly try to dodge the question, avoiding eye contact before answering. "W-What kind of question is that?" "Ehehe..." She laughs in a kind of weird way, but clearly not giving up from her question. This is so embarrassing... besides I wouldn't want to ditch "C-Come on Sayori! As if that was ever going to happen..." "That's a super awkward question to answer, how am I going to answer that?

"W-Well..." I try to calm down, taking a deep breath before continuing... She is my best friend, she deserves the truth... "I-I mean, I would be afraid of what she would do to me if I turned her down..." "Isn't she so cute and fun to have around?" I look at Natsuki with kind of a sarcastic expression. "She would probably kill me, Sayori!" "Oh, come on! She isn't that bad..." It's dumb that I'm in this situation, but Sayori is right. I didn't want to answer her but I don't have much choice, I just hope Sayori doesn't get I like Natsuki. She would probably worry too much... Sayori looks at me expectantly, I take a deep breath before answering. "I mean if she just asked me right before without a proper warning, I would go with you because we are both already compromised to go together. But if she warned me ahead of time, I mean, I don't know, maybe I would warn you beforehand and go with her if she asked me to..."

"You worry about me too much, you should accept if she invited you!" I get slightly blushed at Sayori's silliness "I don't worry too much, I worry what I worry! And besides, that will never happen so I don't know why we are talking about ifs..." I keep walking at the same speed we were going, but Sayori slows her pace before stopping. "Hehe, I just like to think about it. It's just a bit more time until you don't need me anymore..."

I stop as Sayori finishes. Did she just say that? I turn as Sayori looks at me. As our eyes meet, a slight blush pops on her face as if she got embarrassed at what she said. To be honest she should be because it would be silly to think that would actually ever happen. "Sayori..." She is really embarrassed, but I think she doesn't seem sure about it. She looks slightly down to my feet. I get closer to her, thinking about what to say. "Hey!..." I stop in front of her, placing my arm around her shoulder. I lower my face, something that makes her take her eyes off of the floor and focus on mine and hear what I'm saying. "Come on...you really think that would ever happen? You're my friend! My BEST friend! There is no one that could ever replace you! Never, ever!" She smiles at me. "I can have friends, I might one day get a girlfriend, but you're not going anywhere! I will always want you in my life. We've always known and been friends with each other, even after I left Japan to go back and live with my family we never stopped talking with each other. Even after... well, you know..." Sayori quickly hugs me, trying to take away the dark times hunting my mind. "Mew, don't think of it, please!" I keep going, focusing back on Sayori. "What I'm trying to say is, you always had my back. You always worried about me. Even after that, I got back to Japan and you helped me through such hard times. I'm always going to be there for you as long as you want me to. And I'm not going anywhere, regardless of how many friends I make." Now holding tears in her eyes, Sayori simply holds a smile in her face. "Mew..."

I clean the tears off of her face. "Feeling better now?" She gives me a big smile, getting back to normal self. "Great!" "Awesome!" "Hehe~" Sayori started skipping a bit in front of me. "Come on! I'm hungry! Let's get to my house quick!" "You're always hungry!" I hurry to catch her up while Sayori starts running. I start running to get to her.

We quickly get to Sayori's place. I stop waiting just a moment for Sayori, who arrives right after "Hehe~! I win!" "Huh?! How do you win? I got here first!" "You did..." She opens her front gate, closing it right after. "But the race was to my house!" "Oh, come on! Only you have the key!" "I know! Hehe~" Sayori gets to the door, simply opening it. "But you know I usually never remember to lock my door!~" As she says that, I remember she is right. I raise my hands in defeat. Sayori just chuckles in victory "Well, I'm going to eat! Thank you for making my company!" "Oh, don't start! You know I wasn't going anywhere without you." "I know! I'm just happy you always keep your promises." "Well, I got to go. I gotta go get some stuff for dinner and a poem to make!" "Hehe, that's what living alone means! Don't worry, you're not the only one!" "Hehe, I know, I know..." We eventually parted our ways, with me heading to the grocery store.

Time flows quickly as I get some stuff for my dinner, something I'm actually thankful for because today was a very, very long day. I quickly finish buying all I need for the house after getting some basic stuff for the house. As I leave, I'm about to start making my way back home when I look at my usual book store's entrance show window.

Wait!... Isn't today Thursday? The new issue of my manga came out yesterday! I completely forgot! With all the club hype and being all day busy, it didn't even come to my mind! I hold my groceries on my left hand, taking my wallet out of my right pocket with my free hand, checking my money as I open it. I have the money here, so I can take it now!

I feel myself smiling and get my wallet back on my pocket as I walk into the shop. I scan the shelves on both sides of the shop, looking for the new issue. I finally stumble across the book, from the opposite side of the shop. I cross the shop, ready to grab my new acquisition. As I am about to get take it with me, a familiar cover catches my eye. To its left side, there it was. An issue of The Parfait Girls, the same both Natsuki and I fell onto, getting it bent over as we did...

As I look at its cover, I second think about buying my book. It was my fault not warning Natsuki she would probably fall from the chair... I raise my hand, grabbing that 3rd volume of The Parfait Girls I was staring at... I don't like owing anything to anyone, but the fact is that I was owing that to her. And besides, I can just buy my book later...

I walk towards the exit. My groceries on my right arm now, along with Natsuki's book. It was wrapped, just like a gift. I just hope that even if she doesn't like me, she accepts this has a proper apology.

I get out of the shop taking my left to make my way home, but as I am lost in thought someone collides with me. I quickly take the person's hand, avoiding her to fall onto the floor. I quickly bow after getting balanced properly. "I-I'm sorry! I wasn't watching what I was doing..." "Y-Yeah, you can say that again you, big dummy!" That familiar insult caught my attention. "H-Huh...?"

I raise my head, facing the person I collided with. "A-At least you didn't let me fall like last time..." "N-Natsuki?!" There she was, again! Arms crossed, looking to the side, hair covering the side of her face, hiding a slight blush on her cheeks. "I-I'm sorry, Natsuki!" I go back to apologize. "Y-You already apologized, you don't need to keep going..." I rise back again. "What are you doing here?" "I-I usually go to the book store before going home..." "Oh, I guess that makes sense... Oh, wait!" I quickly remember, getting the poem I made for Natsuki from my bag.

I raise it in her direction, to which she even redder. "Here...I told you I would give it to you. It's yours..." Natsuki stands still while switching her look between me and my poem. Her deep blush still present in her face, something I have been having trouble to believe it's actually there. From the blushes she keeps getting, at least I'm sure now I'm not indifferent to her. Natsuki raises her arm, accepting my poem in her hands.

I get her book from my right hand, making her eyes open properly before she could say something about the poem. "Hehe, I knew you would like my manga!" Her grin is really telling, she is really proud of herself for that. "Ahah, yeah, I have to admit! You were right!" "Hehe, already getting the chapter after the one you took today? You're counting on getting a lot of reading in today, aren't you?" A smile pops in my face. "Hehe, I was thinking about it! But actually..."

I raise it towards her "This one is yours..." "W-WHAT..." She gets a bit troubled trying to assimilate what I was doing... "W-What are you doing? Why?!" "You were right, it was my fault I didn't call you out properly before you got on the chair. I am sorry for that and for what happened to your book..." "B-But...you...really didn't. I-It was my fault, not yours..." "I should have made you understand that you could have hurt yourself, and although you didn't, it could have happened. I want you to have it. Please accept it..."

Her eyes stay steady, but this time, fixed on mine. Her blush probably has never been this deep. As our eyes are fixed on one another, I feel like everything around us isn't moving at all. It's solely the both of us. For that moment, just Natsuki and I. Again, she raises her hand, taking the book from mine. She opens the book, placing my poem inside it, right next to the book's marker. She gets it close to her chest. "T-Thank you..." Her genuine gratitude is really telling. "You're welcome..."

I get past her, starting to leave. "W-Wait!" My eyes get wide open, as I turn to face her once again. She is still facing the book store's entrance, not for long though. She turns right after, facing me with a determined look in her face. The silence between us Is palpable until eventually, she breaks it. "...did you mean it?" "Huh?" "T-The poem..." I get it now. She feels the need to hear it from my mouth, not just from the poem. "...did you?"

"I meant every word of it." She keeps listening to me, her deep blush always present. "I was very nervous, but I'm glad I shared it with you first. It is meant for you. Ever since I met you, you always caught my attention. And ever since, I've always come to notice that we have all these hobbies in common. I understand why you like manga as much as I do. I love cooking just like you, although you're much more into baking and sweet stuff than I. And..." I hold myself from calling her cute because I imagine she probably wouldn't find that wording much fun. "...I've always been a bit blown off by the fact that I find you so attractive, that even though I kind of think you're out of my league... I still want to be with you, more than just a friend..."

She heard every word I spoke, taking them as lightly as she could, not to interrupt me. As I finish, I notice her judgment on her head. I'm not sure if she is debating what to say, or what to think about all this. She eventually, once again, breaks the silence between us. "...I want to do something, with you I mean..." I get a bit confused with her approach, but before talking I let her finish. "If you agree, I would like us to do something together..." "And what would that be?" "I-I want us both to make poems, for each other. Like, placing all the feelings we have for one another, put them onto a poem then exchange them..."

I process her thinking. She isn't telling me right now, but she said: "feelings we have...". I knew I wasn't indifferent to her, but now I have confirmation. "...alright. It's set then. I'll make a poem entirely focused on my feelings for you." "And I'll do exactly the same... now, I'm sorry. But it's getting late. I have to get going..." "Don't worry, I don't mind at all." Her eyes never avoided mine during our talk, neither did mine from hers. She quickly adds. "Thanks, I'll talk to you later..." I finished before she left. "I'll be waiting. And thank you..."

The way home was long, full of thought. It was night already, but I didn't care what time it was. I didn't care for anything during that walk. Everything felt right, and nothing could take that off of me at that moment. I knew it for sure now... it wasn't just me. Natsuki has feelings for me too... just hope those correspond to mine...


End file.
